Welcome To My Life

Preschool for Matthew

2009-09-22T21:59:00.003-04:00

Not only is Nathan growing up and off to first grade, now my Matty is in preschool. He's always been my shy boy. He'd much rather just sit and watch everyone else than get into the action and it is so difficult to get him to talk to adults. So I decided even though he is young yet, I'd put him in preschool this year just to get him to be more comfortable in that type of setting. He's already becoming a little more outgoing at times, but I think he is still very quiet at school from what I have observed. I hope he makes lots of new friends and has a great time while helping with his shyness. When I pick him up he just grins the whole way home. I can't get him to tell me a whole awful lot about it, but I sure think he's having fun.

School Time

2009-09-07T19:47:00.008-04:00

Update: Nathan had a great first day of school. He was excited when he woke up that morning and couldn't wait to get there. He likes his teacher and he has a few friends from last year in his class that he's looking forward to getting to know better (though he is a bit disappointed a few of his close friends from last year are in a different class). I handled it okay, I teared up a little, but since it's inevitable that he's going to grow up, I took it all in stride. I hope he continues to enjoy it as much as he has so far.

Nathan's first day of preschool:

Nathan's first day of kindergarten:

It's that time of the year again. I know I've said it the last two years, but this year I mean it as much as ever...I'm just not sure I'm ready for my baby to go! Preschool was hard for me, I mean that was the first time I'd ever really left Nathan somewhere for any significant amount of time. But of course he loved it, so I adjusted, and I was so happy for him to make new friends and learn new things. The year went quickly and he loved every minute of it!

Then kindergarten came, that was new and scary for me, but not for him!!! He was so excited to get on that big yellow bus (which you may remember forgot him that first day which cause a lot of tears) and head off to school for the whole morning. His teacher was awesome and the kids in his class were the best! He made all new friends and learned so much, including how to read! He amazed me at how much he learned and how eager he was to learn. It was another great year for him and I of course adjusted to him being gone every day, even if it was only a half day.

Now, we're on to first grade. YIKES! How did he get so old? How did I get so old? He has a few kids in his class from last year, and I'm comfortable with him riding the bus (but he doesn't want to anymore, it's "boring") and I love his school and am super excited about his teacher. I just don't want him to be gone all day! I know he's going to enjoy it, he's excited to eat lunch at school and about the fish tank in his classroom. I know he'll do fine, even though he's bound to be grumpy and tired when he gets home from such a long day.

So with tears in my eyes, I'll watch him get on that bus tomorrow morning. I'll put on a brave face so he doesn't know just how hard it is for me. I'll kiss him and tell him he'll do great and that there's nothing to worry about. But I'll worry every minute until he's back safely at home tomorrow afternoon. Then I'll probably do the same on Wednesday, I know it will get easier after awhile, but for now, it's just so hard to let go. But that's part of growing up, for both of us.

Happy Birthday Dear Nathan!!!

2009-08-27T00:36:00.002-04:00

My baby Nathan is growing up! Today is his sixth birthday. I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. I can't believe six years have passed since I first looked into those beautiful eyes of his. I never knew just how much I could love someone until I held my baby boy. It's just amazing. He is an awesome kid. He can be very challenging, very strong-willed, but I can't imagine him any other way. He is who he is, bluntly honest, silly, always trying to get a laugh, and I'll take him just that way. I wouldn't change him for the world.

Happy Birthday Nathan!

I love you so much!

Baby Nathan

Moving on...

2009-08-18T22:50:00.003-04:00

I haven't really posted much this summer, and what I have posted has been a little, well, depressing, to say the least. For the first few days after Jana passed away, I just didn't know how I was going to go on. I didn't know if I'd be able to be the person I've always been. Or how I'd be able to be that person. A major part of my life was gone. The one person I could reminisce with and laugh with, who shared a major portion of my life with...gone. Gone before I even had a chance to say good-bye.

How does a person get over that? Well, they don't. I don't think I'll ever "get over it" but I will "get on with it." Life, that is.

And I don't think I will ever be the person I was before. I actually think in a lot of ways, I will be a better person because of it, because of the way Jana lived. All the things I admire in Jana are the things I need to get through this.

First and foremost...faith. Jana was very proud to be a Christian, as am I, but she was never afraid to tell people about it, and that's something I hope to be able to do a little better. Without my faith, and the promise of heaven I don't know how I would be able to cope.

Secondly, a can-do attitude. Jana wasn't afraid to try anything. I've always been much more cautious. But believing in myself and knowing, with time, this pain will begin to heal is something I really need.

Third, a sense of humor. Jana was always laughing and her laughter was contagious. She was always cracking jokes (often at the expense of "your momma") and lived life to the fullest. Those first few days when I thought I couldn't do anything I just remember thinking that I had to, for Jana's sake. She wouldn't want me, or anyone, sitting around feeling sad, but rather laughing at the memories we shared with her. And I've done just that. I've continued to live and make new memories. Some of them have been hard...she should have been involved in making some of those memories, and it just wasn't the same without her. But for the rest of us here, life goes on, and we should enjoy it.

There were many other things I admired about Jana, but these are the top three that have helped me. The way Jana lived makes her death easier to deal with. No wondering where she is now, or what she'd want from us. I do miss her, but we've continued to enjoy our summer as a family, exactly like I know she'd want us to. Thank you Jana, for all these lessons you're teaching me. And thank you for living life as you did, you are missed and loved.

My summer loss

2009-07-22T13:46:00.004-04:00

It's been a rough summer. At the end of May, my grandpa passed away. He had been sick for awhile and it was kind of a relief to know he was no longer in pain. June 8th, as we were getting ready for his funeral, Dustin's cell phone rang. Dustin was in the shower and I was upstairs getting my clothes around so we didn't even bother to answer it. When Dustin got around to checking his voice mail a little while later, it was Grammy (my mom's mom) and she sounded hysterical and told us it was an emergency and to call her right away. I figured it was car trouble or something else she was overreacting to, but I called her back right away.

The news that I got then is the worst news I have ever had...my sister had died. I didn't believe it, there was just no way. She'd been suffering from kidney stones, but otherwise was healthy. It just couldn't be!!! The rest of that afternoon was kind of a blur. I remember functioning only because I had to. Why me? Why now? We arranged for the boys to spend the night at Dustin's parents and went down to see Jana. The whole 2 hour-plus ride was pretty much silent. I wasn't sure I'd be able to go to the hospital and actually see her, I wasn't even sure I wanted to. But I'm glad I did. She looked very peaceful and very angelic. The week to follow was just so surreal. How could my 30-year-old just married sister pass away? But I dealt with it the best I could that week and have continued to do things as planned this summer. I know that's what she would want me to do.

Just as things were starting to get a little easier emotionally, God threw us another curve ball. Dustin's grandpa passed away July 3rd. Again, like my grandpa, this wasn't a complete surprise. He hadn't been in the best of health for a few years and had just found out he had cancer again. But still, any death is difficult, no matter the circumstances. I certainly never would have thought I'd be able to deal with three in about 6 weeks.

I've decided God must think I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I know He takes people from us for a reason, and while I may not understand that reason now, I will someday. I am getting by. It hasn't been easy for me, but we've been staying busy and trying to move on. So many people have offered so much kindness through all of this and I don't really know where to begin thanking them. So if you are reading this and you know of our hard time and have thought of us, prayed for us, sent us cards, made us dinner, watched the kids, or offered to do anything during this difficult time, please know that it is greatly appreciated.

Jana: Sister, Friend, Child of God

2009-06-16T22:28:00.006-04:00

JANA

August 28th 1978-June 8th 2009

Why did she have to go?

So young I just don't know why.

Things happen half the time

Without reason without rhyme.

Lovely, sweet young woman-

Daughter, wife and mother.

Makes no sense to me,

I just have to believe,

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels

By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees.

And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting,

And I know she's smiling saying,

Don't worry 'bout me.

Loved ones she left behind,

Just trying to survive,

And understand the why,

Feeling so lost inside.

Anger shot straight at God,

Then asking for His love.

Empty with disbelief,

Just hoping that maybe

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels

By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees.

And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting,

And I know she's smiling saying

Don't worry 'bout me.

It's hard to say goodbye,

Her picture in my mind

Will always be of times I'll cherish

And I won't cry 'cause

She flew up to Heaven on the wings of angels

By the clouds and stars and passed where no one sees.

And she walks with Jesus and her loved ones waiting

And I know she's smiling saying

Don't worry 'bout me.

(Sissy's Song by Alan Jackson)

Jana, I miss you so much already. I know we didn't talk everyday, or even every week. But just knowing I can't talk to you makes me so sad. I know where you are right now, and I know that I'll see you again. Keep them laughing up in heaven, I can't wait to hear your laugh again someday. You will always remain in my heart. The tears we will cry through the years are for us, we know you are in glory and that you will never hurt or be sad again, and for that I praise God. Thank you for being such an inspiration to so many people, I know you helped to win many hearts for Jesus. How amazing it must have been to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." I love you, I always have (though I might not have admitted it) and always will!

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T07:25:00.002-04:00

It wasn't until recently that I really started to "get" what Memorial Day really meant. Sure, I knew it was a day to honor and remember those who gave their lives for their country. But to me, as it is to many, it was just a much-needed day off of school and the kick-off to summer. Overall, it was always a fun weekend. But lately it has began to mean so much more. I don't know if it's simply because I'm older or because I've had a cousin (in-law) and some friends from high school who have served in Iraq and Afghanistan (whom all thankfully came home safe) but I've become a lot more patriotic over the last several years. Now I take the time to reflect on what the day truly means, and I'd like to thank everyone who has ever served for our great nation, I know you guys don't always get the respect you deserve, but you certainly have mine.

Like Mother, Like Son

2009-05-22T11:27:00.004-04:00

Nathan in his "pig-flu" mask.

It looks like somebody else

is on their way to becoming

a full-fledged paranoid

germaphobe! No, actually

they got them on a field trip

to the hospital and I thought

it was funny because they

looked like those masks everyone

is wearing.

Babies or Big Boys?

2009-04-24T20:36:00.003-04:00

My babies are growing up! Case in point: they are not "babies" anymore, though every mother knows their children will always be their babies no matter how old they get.

It dawned on me when I got a note home about some activities planned for Nathan's last day of school. I realized that was only a little over a month away. In just over a month I will have a first grader! How on earth did that happen? It seems like yesterday we brought him home from the hospital. How did my precious newborn turn into an almost-first-grader? I must have blinked and missed that.

My moment with Matthew came when I changed a dirty diaper yesterday and I realized that it was the first one I'd had to do in a couple weeks. He's a big boy! He doesn't need diaper changes very often because he doesn't wear diapers very often and when he does he usually keeps them clean and dry. I got a little sad when I realized my diaper changing days are almost over. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic to not have to do that all the time, it's not the most pleasant job in the world, but it means my Matty is getting big.

I just don't know how to feel about them growing up. One part of me is so excited to see the things they will do and the men they will become. But another part of me wants to keep them babies forever and ever. It's so bittersweet. I miss them being tiny cuddly newborns and the nervous and excited feeling of wondering what it would be like to raise them and if we'd be good parents. When Nathan was born I had zero experience with babies. I mean zero! I changed a diaper for the first time when I was seven months pregnant with him, it was a friend's baby, and I asked to do it just to make sure I would be able to figure it out when I had my own baby. Obviously I did manage to get it figured out. All those little things I wasn't sure I'd be able to do, I did. I remember everything being so frightening though. Would I be able to nurse them properly? Would I bathe them the right way? Would I know if they were crying because they were sick or hungry or tired or wet? I loved every minute of it, but it scared me none the less. But I did it. I know I didn't get everything right all the time, but I did it.

Now we're on to whole new worries and fears. I've got bath time down, and feeding and all the other basics. But now it's on to even more important stuff. Now it's time to mold my boys into the young men I want them to become. Young men who have a servant's heart. Young men who aren't afraid to stand up to others and what they believe in. Young men who are respectful to their elders, their peers and even themselves. Wow, I guess I didn't realize back then what a big job I signed up for! I find myself praying more and more these days. Not only for the safety of my children, but for the wisdom to guide them in the direction they should go. I thank God every day for giving me this opportunity, and no matter how old they get, I will love my "babies".

Titus 3:1-2~Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for any honest work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all men.

Can you believe it?

2009-04-01T13:25:00.003-04:00

When I was trying to think of something to post about, I had a few thoughts. First, I thought maybe I would tell you that I was expecting another baby, then I thought maybe I'd tell you that Dustin and I are going through a hard time and are thinking about getting a divorce. Then I thought maybe I'd tell you that I won $28,000 in the lottery last weekend. If I were to tell you any of that though, would you believe me? If yes, check the date and think it over again.

But, what I am about to tell you actually did happen. Go ahead and sign me up for the "Mother of the Year" award right now. (Please note the sarcasm!)

This morning I decided to take Matthew to the library for story time. We don't get to go very often, because usually it's on Tuesdays while I am helping in Nathan's classroom. But today was special, it was Easter stories and an egg hunt. Matthew had a good time and didn't want to leave so I let him stay for quite awhile. My original plan was to go to the library, go grocery shopping and then pick Nathan up from school. Since we stayed so long at the library, I still had time for my shopping but knew I wouldn't get to the school on time so figured Nathan could just ride the bus home. Just as I was pulling out of the parking lot (with about a half hour to spare before the bus would be to our house) my cell phone rang. Nobody ever calls me on my cell, I answered it expecting it to be Dustin, but it was the school secretary. I think my heart dropped a mile. I was afraid something had happened. Well, something had happened.....Nathan didn't get on the bus because he thought I was picking him up! So I rushed to the school expecting to find Nathan scared or mad or both. But fortunately when I walked into the office he was looking at books and not a bit upset. Phew! I told him it was an April Fool's joke and he laughed. I thought he knew if he didn't see me to get on the bus, but since I hadn't specifically told him that this morning, he didn't know. Oh well, all's well that ends well.

And for the record, none of the things in the first paragraph are true. Sorry Tammy, no more grandbabies from me, at least not for awhile.

Much About Nothing

2009-03-06T10:48:00.004-05:00

Dustin and I have been asked to co-coach Nathan's soccer team. And, like the insane people we obviously must be, we said yes. YIKES! Dustin is actually the head-coach, but since he's so busy in April and May at work, I am going to fill in when needed, which will probably be quite a bit. Neither of us know much about soccer, and I certainly am not athletic at all, so this will be an interesting experience for us. Dustin would be great at t-ball, but soccer is foreign territory.

I am starting to wonder what have I gotten myself into, not just with soccer, but with all the volunteering I am doing for Nathan's school. Don't get me wrong, I love helping, especially when I get to help with his class and actually work with the kids. But all this fundraiser stuff, and PTA stuff is really going to keep me busy next year. I don't know how the lady who does most of it now does it all. Hopefully we'll be able to get some more parents interested in helping out. Thank goodness for family nearby who love to babysit (and for free)! I am excited to help, but I am big on family time and spending evenings together at home while our children are still young and not involved with this, that, and the other thing.

Through helping at the school, I have learned what my passion is and what I truly want to do. I've always thought I wanted to be a teacher, and planned on becoming one by now (but having kids kind of got in the way of that). I had previously thought I'd want to teach upper elementary, maybe even middle school, but now I know without a doubt, I want to teach kindergarten. I hope to return to school in the next couple of years and hopefully get my degree within five or six years. I've got a good chunk of it done, but it will still take a lot of time at a part-time pace.

Matthew is still doing well with potty training. He wears a Pull-up when we go somewhere, but often will use the bathroom even while we are away from home. I am so pleased with his quick progress.

Nathan finally had to go on antibiotics. This is his first time ever on oral antibiotics, he had eye drops once when he was a couple months old. We found out Friday he has strep throat, but he's handling it very well. He's over the contagious period, I'm just hoping none of the rest of us get it, so far, I think we're okay.

Potty Post (Matthew's going to be soooo mad someday!)

2009-02-28T20:18:00.004-05:00

Matthew is two and a half. We have talked about the potty for awhile, and I've tried to get him to go. But up until the last couple of weeks it was really hit or miss, both literally and figuratively. He'd go occasionally, but I could tell he just wasn't ready. The last few days, however, we have made giant steps towards being potty trained. He's worn underpants around the house for the most part, diapers when we go out and to bed, of course. He has a sticker chart where we put one star on each time he goes, there were enough spaces for 40 stickers. It took him a good month or so to get the first 10-15 stickers. But, this week he has been all about that chart! He's been getting 5 or 6 a day! He's doing so awesome! He kept himself dry for well over 48 hours, even at night! YEAH! He's turning into such a big boy!

I know this post is really silly, and if you're not a parent, probably a bit gross, I tried to spare the details. But if you are a parent, you know just how exciting this can be! I also know that my son will probably kill me someday for this, especially the picture, but hey, I'll take my chances.

This picture was taken back in August, before we became serious about this. He's come a long way since then. Please ignore my messy bathroom, it doesn't always look so bad. (Okay, maybe it does, but I could have at least shut the cupboard door so it didn't look so bad!)

Not Me Monday

2009-02-23T07:24:00.001-05:00

Time for Not Me Monday! It's been awhile since I've done this, but I feel inspired after reading MckMama's. Mine aren't nearly as hysterical, but here goes:

I did not have to explain to Matthew that the freckle on my arm was indeed a freckle, not a nipple like he insisted. And I was oh-so-proud that my two year old knew the word nipple!

I did not have to clean spit up off the floor after Nathan played "the animal game". No, my 5 year old wouldn't spit on the floor when we told him to pretend to be a llama.

I did not allow my child to eat a cookie that he had decorated with an entire bottle of orange sprinkles.

Last but not least, I did not allow my son to walk around K-Mart in a new shoe on one foot we were thinking about buying and just a sock on the other foot. I wouldn't do that, I mean, the sign says "no shoes, no shirt, no service".

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Random Picture Post

2009-02-20T20:08:00.005-05:00

Hopefully these will help remind us that warmer weather is on the way. I don't know about you, but in my opinion, it can't come soon enough!

Two little dodo birds:

Swinging!

My little fishies:

Pagel-isms: The Sleepover Edition

2009-02-13T09:58:00.002-05:00

It's been a long time since I've posted a Pagel-ism, not because of lack of material, simply because there is so much, I often can't remember. This one stuck with me though.

Nathan had a friend spend the night on Wednesday (it's mid-winter break) and this particular friend is crazy. He's a good kid, but let's just say I'm glad they're not in the same class or even school because they tend to be really wild and cause trouble together. At about 8:30 or so I put on a movie and made them settle down. They were all (Matthew included) sitting on the floor eating popcorn and this friend got up and put his butt in Nathan's face and made a fake farting sound. Nathan got mad and moved to the couch. A little while later, the friend and Matthew were still being a little too noisy and Nathan sat up and said, "You know why God made night? So we could sleep and have energy for the next day!" Then he laid down, rolled over and went to sleep. It was so funny. It reminded me of something his father would say. Dustin is soooo not a night person, and apparently, neither is Nathan!

My Babies

2009-02-05T22:18:00.009-05:00

NATHAN SCOTT

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Kind of, we decided to try, it just happened A LOT sooner than we expected.
2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes, for about 6 months when we got pregnant.
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Happy, but surprised, I thought it'd take a couple more months!
4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Absolutely not!
5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 21
6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? I'd been feeling "strange" and just not hungry. It was over the holidays and I just didn't feel like eating anything, and I was super tired. 7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Dustin, I called him at work. It was the day after Christmas so then we went to my mom and dad's and told them we had a late gift for them and gave them a card that said your going to be a grandma/pa. Then we had a Christmas party that evening at Dustin's grandparents and we did the same thing for his parents.
8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes, and we found out pretty early.
9. DUE DATE? I think it was August 31st.
10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Oh yeah. I was hospitilized 3 times for dehydration. It lasted about 4-5 months and was bad. Real bad.
11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Watermelon
12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Not feeling good probably topped the list.
13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX? Boy
14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? No, I was very happy with a boy.
15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? I lost about 20 or so in the beginning, then ended up gaining it all back plus about 20-25 more.
16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes
17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew
18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? A couple days after I found out I was expecting I had some issues which required some testing and discoved that I had conceived triplets, but only one was actually developing. It wasn't that I had miscarried the other two, they just never "took". I had to be on bed-rest for a week or two after that. Then there was the morning sickness and hospitilizations for that. Then towards the end they were worried the baby was getting big and did all kinds of stress tests, non-stress tests, the whole she-bang. So, yeah, I guess there were some, I never really realized how many until I just typed it all out. None of it was too major though!
19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Sturgis
20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 36, 24 of them being strong labor. I was induced at about 8 one morning and late that night it got pretty bad. By the next morning it was really bad and stayed that way until I delivered shortly before 9 that night.
21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Dustin, though we lived only a couple blocks away. I always joked I'd walk there when I was in labor.
22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Dustin and my mom. My dad, grandma, and Dustin's mom and dad were in the waiting room.
23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural
24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Yes, they tried a few milder things and in my pain/drug induced stupor I yelled at the nurse that "this sh*# isn't working." So finally they gave me an epidural, but it didn't take, and by the time I delivered, I was pretty much drug-free.
25. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 9 pounds 5 ounces
26. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? August 27th
27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Nathan Scott
28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 5 1/2!!!!!!

MATTHEW DAVID

1. WAS YOUR PREGNANCY PLANNED? Yes, it was very carefully thought out, we knew the age difference we wanted with our kids and aimed for that. We got it about exactly where we wanted.
2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes
3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Super-excited!
4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Absolutely not!
5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? Hmmm...I found out the day after my 24th birthday.
6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Same as first time around, just not feeling right. I took like 6 tests before it came out positive, but it was very early.
7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Nathan! He was too young to really get it. I had told Dustin we were going to get Nathan a baby doll to "practice" with when we got pregnant. And when I found out, Dustin was sleeping (he had worked 3rd shift the night before) so I went and bought a doll and sent him up with it to wake up Daddy. When Dustin saw the doll...he knew.
8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? I was undecided, after having a boy first, I really wanted a girl and was afraid I'd be disappointed if it was another boy. We found out, and of course I was super happy and was so glad to have 2 boys.
9. DUE DATE? Geesh, I don't remember. I think July 10th.
10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yes, but not near as bad as with Nathan. They put me on a "miracle drug" that really helped me out. I was able to function most days.
11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Watermelon again and baked potatoes with hot sauce on them. The potatoes were just a vehicle for getting the hot sauce into my mouth.
12. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Not too much more than normal. This pregnancy was a lot easier.
13. WHAT WAS YOUR CHILD'S SEX? Boy
14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? Maybe for a split second, but I am happy now.
15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? I don't know, I lost a little at first, maybe 10 pounds, then ended up gaining probably 40 or so. I was HUGE!
16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Not this time around.
17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? N/A
18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Not anything major. Morning sickness for a few months and the last couple weeks my blood pressure kept dropping really low.
19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Sturgis
20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 24 blissful hours. Yes, I said blissful. I had an epidural once the milder meds quit being strong enough and it was AWESOME!!!! I had to be woken up to push...it was the greatest.
21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Myself. I actually went in for a stress test, and he was going to come in as soon as he got home from work. It wasn't a big deal, and I didn't mind him not being there, but while there I started having contractions and they kept me and induced me to get things moving faster.
22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Dustin and my mom. Nathan and Dustin's mom (who was watching Nathan) just happened to show up minutes after just to visit.
23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural
24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? OH YEAH!!!! See #20!
25. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH? 9 pounds 11 ounces
26. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? July 7th
27. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Matthew David
28. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? 2 1/2!!!!!!

Big Boy Matty

2009-02-03T21:29:00.006-05:00

Matthew's well on his way to becoming a full-fledged "big boy". We've recently started working on potty-training and he's picking it up surprisingly well. Only once or twice has he told me he had to go and went on his own, but if I remind him every hour or so, he'll go to the bathroom and conjure something up. I'm not pushing the issue or rushing it at all, but it would be great if we could have him out of diapers by summer.

Also, just before Christmas the boys decided they wanted to share a bedroom. We decided we might as well let them try it, so when we moved Matthew's crib over we went ahead and turned it into a "big-boy bed". The first night in it, Matthew slept through the night, something that was VERY rare for him. The second night he did the same, and the night after that, and the night after that. The first couple weeks were awesome. He's still doing well, but occasionally, I'll wake up to his little feet padding over to my room wanting to sleep with me. Overall, I'm glad we made this move, both boys seem to be enjoying it (Nathan mainly because he got a room make-over in the process), and now they have a whole room to keep all their toys in.

My little boy is growing up, that's for sure. I know there are going to be many more exciting things happening for him. He seems to be getting over his shyness a little bit too, at least with other kids. I love my little man and look forward to these changes, though it is a little sad to think he's not really my baby anymore!

Happy Birthday Gracie!

2009-02-02T10:27:00.004-05:00

Today is my niece Gracie's first birthday. I have had the pleasure of baby-sitting her much of her first year. She has been such a joy to have in our home and the boys have really enjoyed having her. We miss her quite a bit now that she's not coming over very often. Happy birthday Miss Gracie, and by the way, did you see your shadow?

Snapshots of my life

2009-01-30T16:51:00.009-05:00

I felt like looking through some old pictures and thought I'd share some with you.

Any guesses on which boy is which? Yes, these pictures are of two different children taken nearly three years apart. Look closely, there are some differences. Aren't they both so cute though? The sad thing is, I have the outfit they are wearing in pink as well. Just in case, you know, someday I may need it.

This is one of my favorite pictures ever of Nathan. We were camping and he found a flower, it's just precious the way he's smelling it. He was a little shy of four years old in this picture. And I just had to put it here because it makes me think of summer. Ahhh...summer!!!!

Here's Matthew a month or so before his first birthday. Again, I had to post this one just because it looks so warm out. I can't wait to be able to take the boys out to play. It's been soooo cold here and I can't help but wish for warmer weather.

To work, or not to work....

2009-01-28T23:09:00.002-05:00

If you're reading this, most likely you know I am a stay at home mom. Dustin and I agreed before I was even pregnant that I would stay home with our kids because we didn't want other people raising our kids. We knew there would be sacrifices and that money would be tight. It's been rough, very rough at times. Sometimes I wonder how we manage to survive. We have a nice home and decent vehicles to drive. There's always food to eat and our house is warm. We have all the things we need. Unfortunately, we also have debt, and quite a bit of it. It's hard to stay afloat in this economy, and while Dustin's job doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger, it's a little frightening to think of what could happen.

So now I'm thinking of returning to work. I never had the intention of staying home forever, but it is a little earlier than I had planned. I would like both boys to be in school so they wouldn't have to be in daycare at all. But for some reason, I'm kind of getting the feeling that this might be the right time.

Assuming I find a job (something in the school system is what I have in mind), this is going to be really hard on me. This is the only way that the boys and I know. I know Nathan would be fine in daycare, and he'd only have to go for a few hours in the afternoon. I am a little worried about Matthew. He's two and a half, and very shy. I think he'd be okay for a half day, but a whole day is going to be a lot for him to handle. It would certainly be nice if I could find something part time that would pay enough to pay daycare and still have enough left over to make it worthwhile.

This is something I would appreciate your prayers about. It's not a decision I want to take lightly and I would really like the Lord's guidance in this. I have always felt that my purpose in life was to be the mother of Nathan and Matthew and to always put them first. I still feel this way, but wonder if it's worth digging ourselves further and further into debt. I know I can still be a good parent and a working parent, many people do, but I just hoped I wouldn't have to make this decision for awhile yet. Please keep me in your prayers. I will be sure to let you know how this plays out. Thanks.

Hail to the Chief

2009-01-20T21:57:00.004-05:00

First of all, I would like to say that I am proud to be alive today, and very proud to be an American. While I do not politically agree with President Obama (I'm definitely more of a Conservative) I am so thankful to be a part of history. Today something that is long overdue is finally happening. The dreams of millions of African Americans are being realized. I am more than willing to give our new president a chance, I believe he has the power to change our lives for the better. Let's face it, I personally have no idea what it feels like to be discriminated against. It sickens me to think that people would judge others simply on the color of their skin.

Nathan brought home this picture from school today:

He knew how we felt about the way the election turned out. He knew we supported John McCain. But I thought we needed to talk about what a momentous day he was witness to today and why. Apparently they talked some at school about it. He knew about Martin Luther King Jr. and told me he learned about how he drank from a drinking fountain for "white skinned people" only. Even Nathan, at five years old thinks it is absolutely absurd that people were (and unfortunately still are by some) deemed different or bad just because of their skin color. He has a couple cousins and a great uncle with "dark skin" (these are his words) and a couple of his closest friends have "dark skin" and soon a new uncle, too. While he's noticed their skin, he's never, ever thought of them any differently. Why can't we all be like five year olds this way?

Anyways, I would like to wish President Obama the best of luck. If nothing else, hopefully he can unite this country. On a side note, Michelle Obama looks beautiful tonight at the ball!

Hearts and flowers and pink...oh my!

2009-01-18T20:21:00.009-05:00

I love Valentine's Day and all the hearts and pink and purple and flowers. It's one time of year when I can let my true girly side emerge. I mean, I am surrounded by boys all the time, so there should be one time of year when I can go all out. So even though it's a little early yet, I thought I'd change the look of my blog now. Keep your eye out for a brief change on February 2nd though in honor of my adorable niece Gracie(a.k.a. Woodchuck) who will be turning one that day. I haven't had much to blog about lately, but I hope to get one on here soon.

Family Fun

2009-01-03T20:13:00.016-05:00

We've had a busy couple weeks. I can't believe Christmas Break is over and it's time for Dustin to go back to work, Nathan to go back to school, and Matthew and I to go back to reality. We had a wonderful Christmas, the boys (and Dustin and I for that matter) got super-spoiled at the many (five to be exact) family gatherings we went to. Our New Year's Eve was good, we had our own little party where we wore silly hats and danced and blew horns and had sparkling grape juice and apple spritzers (yum!) and played games. So what if we counted down until 7:00 PM instead of midnight? I won't tell if you won't! Then this Friday we went to South Bend on a surprise trip with the boys. We stayed at a hotel where we swam and just hung out, then Saturday morning we headed to the Morris Center to enjoy Sesame Street Live. It was so much fun to surprise them. They've only stayed at a hotel once so it was a big deal for them, and so was the show. I'm so glad we went, I think everyone had a memorable time.

2009

2009-01-02T09:42:00.002-05:00

Things I'm looking forward to in 2009:
1. I'm finally going to take the plunge (literally and figuritively) and get baptized. It's something I've felt in my heart for a long time, I've just never done it, but now's the time. Look for more in the weeks/months to come.
2. My "little" boys will be 3 and 6 this year! How'd that happen? And if there is going to be a #3, we probably will be giving that some serious thought this year.
3. My niece Gracie will be a year old soon. I've had a great time watching her grow and can't believe how old she's getting!
4. I'd love to grow closer to my family and treat every moment with them as if it's my last.

There are many more things I plan on doing, but this is just a list of a few basics. Number one on my list is very important to me and I am looking forward to it with excitement. I can't wait to become closer to God and help to role model the life that I want my family to live.

I hope everyone had a great New Year's! Happy 2009!

Christmas Survey

2008-12-08T10:03:00.002-05:00

I noticed it has been awhile since I've posted, and since I don't really have anything to post about, I thought I'd do a Christmas survey. Enjoy!

Christmas Survey

Do you like Christmas?: LOVE IT!!!!!
Do you have any family traditions?: Yes, new ornaments every year that represent something from that year and new PJ's on Christmas Eve.
When do you start decorating?: Around Thanksgiving
White or Colored Lights?: White, red and green
Do you have a favorite decoration?: I have a favorite ornament, but everyone else thinks it's hideous. It's a glittery, teal, spidery looking thing, I can't really explain it!
When do you take down decorations?: First week or so of January
When do you start your Christmas shopping?: Mid-October
Do you go to or throw Christmas parties?: Go to
Do you celebrate on Christmas Eve at all?: Yes
If so, what do you do?: Go to someone's house
What time do you get up on Christmas morning?: Oh geesh...we're lucky if the boys sleep until 6
What's your favorite holiday treat?: Grammy's cookies
Hot Chocolate or Egg Nog?: Both
Do you believe in Santa?: Of course!
Did you as a kid?: Yes
What's your favorite Christmas movie?: Rudolph
What's your favorite Christmas song?: Little Drummer Boy...the image of baby Jesus smiling at the drummer boy nearly moves me to tears...strange, but true!
Sitting by a fire or riding through the snow?: Fire!!!!
What was your best gift you ever got?: Nathan! I found out I was pregnant with him the day after Christmas.
What was the gift you ever gave?: Hmmm...I guess I gave the world the joy of Nathan, so I can go with that again.
What do you want this year?: A couple million dollars, but I'll settle for anything.
Have you ever gone carolling?: When I was younger I think we went for church or something maybe.
Real tree or fake tree?: Usually fake
Naughty or nice?: Nice of course!
Have you ever been kissed under the mistletoe?: Not to my recollection.
Who do you want to kiss under the mistletoe?: Any of my three boys!
What tops your Christmas tree?: A star
Do you like candy canes?: Eh, they're okay
Have you sent out your Christmas cards yet?: No, and I don't know if I'll get around to it this year.

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Not Me Monday

2008-11-24T11:19:00.003-05:00

Last week, I did NOT go racing outside after an ambulance went by right (in the opposite direction!) after Nathan got on the bus, just to make sure it wasn't him. I wouldn't do that, I don't worry about him like that! Also when I saw that it certainly wasn't him, I didn't ponder aloud how people can be so stupid and totally forget what the roads are like in the Michigan winter and how to drive in these conditions.

I did not develop a slight case of "Wii elbow" yesterday while playing it for the first time ever! And I didn't shamelessly brag when I beat everyone at bowling by a ton!

I am not loving looking out the window and seeing the beautiful snow falling.

And last but not least, I am not posting a "Not Me Monday" in an attempt to neglect my house-hold chores that are awaiting me as soon as I go downstairs.

All About Dustin

2008-11-21T21:51:00.003-05:00

Okay, so I stole this idea from a friend who apparently stole it from a friend of hers. I thought I'd tell you a little bit about Dustin. He's obviously a big part of my life, and I don't talk about him too awful much on here, so here's a little bit about my man. Maybe, just maybe (don't hold your breath) I'll get him to answer these questions to give you his view on me.

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on the screen?
If we had cable, it would definitely be the History Channel. But we don't, so he's forced to watch documentaries on PBS. Tuesday nights he would have House on.

2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad?
Thousand Island

3. What's one food he doesn't like?
Just one? Ranch dressing almost makes him vomit just to see or smell. He's not too fond of oatmeal or yogurt either, something the boys and I love.

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order?
We're not really bar kind of people, but he would probably order a beer or a Jack and Coke.

5. Where did he go to high school?
Sturgis

6. What size shoe does he wear?
13

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be?
Toy tractors, well...I take that back, probably REAL tractors.

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich?
Probably turkey, cheese, and Miracle Whip (because a sandwich just isn't a sandwich without that tangy zip of Miracle Whip!)

9. What would he eat every day if he could?
Hmmm...that's a toughie, maybe my chocolate chip cookies?

10. What is his favorite cereal?
I would have to say either Frosted Shredded Mini Wheats or Lucky Charms.

11. What would he never wear?
Flip flops

12. What is his favorite sports team?
He's actually not that big of a sports nut, but I think I've converted him into a Notre Dame fan over the past few years. I'd also say the Colts and maybe the Lions, though he just said the other day he's definitely a fair-weather fan. Hey, at least he's honest.

13. Who will he vote for?
Well, if you know Dustin at all, you would know he is a very conservative Republican. Like obnoxiously so. Like to the point where it's not even worth talking about because he's so set in his opinion that he's right and you're wrong, period, end of discussion. Am I right Tammy?

14. Who is his best friend?
I would have to say I rank up there (I hope). But I would say Tom and Jeff are his best friends and have been for years and years, as long as I've known him.

15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do?
WHINE!

16. How many states has he lived in?
Just 2. Sturgis, Michigan and Lima, Ohio for awhile in college.

17. What is his heritage?
Predominantly German, I believe.

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what would it be?
Texas Sheet Cake or peanut butter pie.

19. Did he play sports in high school?
Nope, he was a band nerd, that's where we met!

20. What could he spend hours doing?
Fishing, hunting, wrestling with the boys.

21. What's something cool about him?
Ha! I'm not going to be near as sweet as Stephanie was on this. He had an offer about 10-12 years ago to appear on the show Guinness World Records for fitting the most hamburgers in his mouth at one time. Seriously. Cool or pathetic? I'll let you be the judge of that!

Not Me Monday

2008-11-17T20:01:00.003-05:00

I did not, in an attempt to decorate for Christmas while my husband wasn't home and couldn't stop me, haul a huge, cumbersome, 89 pound box containing the Christmas tree up from the basement. Nor did I just have to find a metric conversion to find out that 40.37 kilograms equals roughly 89 pounds. Also, I did not fail at my attempt to get the tree put together properly and disappoint my children when I said we'd have to wait until Daddy got home to finish, oh wait, yes I did.

I did not skip supper tonight with the intention of finishing off the pumpkin pie ice cream before anyone else can lay their hands on it.

I absolutely did not spend way too much money shopping this weekend.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-12T09:13:00.005-05:00

Anyone notice the spider with his arms (or rather, legs) around R2D2's neck in the group shot?

11 on 11/11

2008-11-11T11:11:00.000-05:00

1. Nathan lost his first tooth on Sunday. We didn't even realize it was loose until Friday, apparently he ate a popcorn ball at school that helped loosen it. Kids with missing teeth usually kind of gross me out (what a politically correct thing to say, huh?), but of course, he is adorable.

2. I've already started my Christmas shopping and have a good chunk of it done. I must be crazy, usually I haven't even started thinking about it yet!

3. We've got parent-teacher conferences later this week, time to see how our kid really behaves at school.

4. It's cold! What happened to fall? It went from 70 for a high to 35 for a high in like 3 days! Yuck!

5. I really should be putting away laundry right now instead of trying to think of 11 different things to post.

6. I used to fear the number 11. I was convinced I was going to die at 11:11 on 11/11/11. Hmmm...that's only a few years off, I've got a lot of living left to do.

7. I'm a little disappointed the Notre Dame football season isn't looking as good as I thought it might at the beginning of the season. But they're still doing better than last year.

8. The boys took me to see Madagascar 2 on Saturday for my birthday. I think the movie was okay, but I was too busy shushing Matthew to pay too much attention!

9. I hate Wal-Mart. I bought an $11 pack of meat there late last week that had an expiration date of November 9th on it. When I got it out on the 8th to cook it, it was rotten. I tried to take it back, but "they don't take food items back" so $11 worth of meat got thrown in the garbage!

10. My bedroom smells like burnt crayons. We finally turned our baseboard heater on last night and it's putting out a strange odor. My guess would be crayons, I've pulled them out of there more than once before.

11. Pray for a veteran today. Or a soldier currently enlisted. Either way, these men and women protect our country and deserve all the thanks they can get.

Giving Thanks

2008-11-07T21:03:00.006-05:00

With Thanksgiving upon us, I though I'd post a few things I'm thankful for. The boys and I have started a new tradition of saying three things each that we're thankful to God for each night after we pray, Matthew usually just copies Nathan and I, but it's still sweet. Sometimes the answers are silly (thank you for cheese), and sometimes they're very profound (thank you for coming into our hearts), but either way it makes my heart sing to hear my children thanking God.

First and foremost, I am thankful that God sent His son to die for me so that I will one day spend eternity with Him. I am thankful for a wonderful childhood and a loving family that helped me to become the person I am today. I am thankful for my husband and my children and that I am able to do what I believe God put me on this earth to do...be a mother to my boys. I am thankful for a roof over my head, a car to drive and just enough money to live on, sure, I'd take more, but God provides what I need. I am thankful that there is always room for improvement, always things to learn and ways to grow. I am thankful I live in a country where I can express my opinion and speak my mind, and dream as big as the day is long, and of course for the men and women who have and continue to make this possible. I am thankful for my family and in-laws who have turned into friends. I am thankful for my friends who have turned into family. I am thankful to be alive, to be healthy and to be happy. Oh, and I, too, am thankful for cheese.

2008 Election-Why is this year so important?

2008-11-03T14:55:00.004-05:00

Seriously, why is everyone making such a big deal about THIS election. I'm not saying it's not important to vote, in fact the point I want to make is quite the opposite. You should always vote! It's important EVERY year! I have voted in every presidential election since I've been 18, this will be my third, and several of the local and state elections as well. I believe it is every citizen's right, no, obligation, to vote if they want to have any voice or any say. Maybe if everyone that was eligible to vote in the last election had done so, our country wouldn't be in the state it is now, and people wouldn't be placing the future of America on one single day. It just frustrates me when people don't vote and then choose to complain about everything from the price of a gallon of gas to the war in Iraq. Basically, if you do not vote, you have no voice, if you have no voice, you have no right to complain. I mean, pretty much everything people argue about can be traced back to our government, and if you want to argue or complain, at least in my presence, you darn well better have voted and made your opinion heard. Even if your opinion is different than mine, that's fine, at least you care about your country enough to stand up and vote! Be thankful you have that right, I know I am!

Not Me Monday

2008-10-27T11:38:00.002-04:00

I am not looking forward to Halloween and getting to dress up the boys and steal their Snickers and Reeses. Not me, I would never, ahem, steal candy from a baby (or a toddler or a kindergartner)!

I most certainly did not let my children go downstairs and play unsupervised Sunday morning so I could get a little more sleep.

I did not freak out when I saw a shriveled up dead mouse in the barn when I was helping clean it yesterday. That would be so unlike me, I am NOT afraid of mice or bats or anything of the sort!

Also, I will not be thinking about MckMama and Stellan this week.

Oh, and click the button if you do NOT want to find out more about Not Me Mondays!

Pagel-isms: The Wal-Mart Edition

2008-10-20T19:42:00.002-04:00

Some crazy things have come out of the mouths of my children while shopping. I mean, since we spend what seems like a ton of time at Wal-Mart, some amusing things are bound to happen. Here are the events that played out last night:

We were minding our business, strolling along, when a lady came by with a dog. She did not appear blind or handicapped to me, but the dog had on an assistance vest. Nathan asked me why she could bring her dog to the store and I told him it was a helper dog and explain how these kinds of dogs help people. Matthew apparently picked up on this explanation, because every time we'd turn an aisle and see this lady and her dog, he'd say, "helper dog, helper dog" somewhat like a parrot.

This next one is slightly more embarrassing! Matthew was sitting in the cart poking a loaf of bread. I asked him to please stop and Nathan started calling him a bread head. Okay, I can handle that, they were just being silly. We were just getting into the checkout line and I bent down and called Nathan a peanut butter head. His response? Yeah, well your an anus head! After I gasped in horror, he quickly tried to apologize for his poor judgement. He claims that's not what he meant to say, but never actually said what it was he meant. Oh, and by the way, he knows perfectly well what anus means.

Nathan

2008-10-16T19:48:00.005-04:00

My kid amazes me. Well, both of them do, but this time I'm going to talk about Nathan. He's a smart boy, I know most parents say that about their children, and I'm not going to proclaim that he's a genius or anything, but he's definitely smart. He has a terrific memory and absolutely loves books. He'd have me read 100 books a day to him if I'd do it. He's even started to recognize a few simple words. What prompted this blog is that I just finished reading him his bedtime stories and he saw a question mark on the cover of one and pointed it out and knew what it was called, then he told me what the commas were, then he opened it up and showed me a period. He also told me that the edge of the book is called the spine. I've worked on some of this with him, but he sure is learning a lot at school! It amazes me how much a child this age can soak up in just a few short weeks of school. Their minds really are like sponges at this age, and I love seeing him gain knowledge every day.

He got a progress report sent home today, and seems to be doing quite well. There was one comment about needing to learn to share the spotlight, which doesn't come as a surprise to me at all. Overall it sounds like he is thriving. It even said he could count to 108. I don't know if this is going to come across as a shameless brag to anyone reading it, it's not really meant to, but I am proud of my son. He's a good boy, sometimes VERY stubborn, but that's probably part of what will help him through the years. He's confident and not afraid to speak his mind and I pray he'll use that for good.

Not Me Monday!

2008-10-13T11:09:00.003-04:00

First of all, I would totally not bribe Matthew with a promise of "riding the horsie" at Wal-Mart to get him to behave. Nope, not me. Somebody else might do that to their kids, but I would never do such a thing.

I would never hope my mom is feeling better from her surgery for my own selfish reasons of wanting to go shopping with her on Friday.

I would never dawdle at the grocery store when I don't have the kids with me so my husband can stay home with them and finish up the landscape project I'd started on the day before.

I would never get online to check my e-mail and post this blog when I should be putting laundry away and cleaning my house, no, never!

I never would end up cleaning my son's room part-way for him before he gets home from school because it takes him too long and he whines too much and it's just easier to do it myself. What kind of lesson would that teach him? I'd never do that!

Pagel-isms

2008-10-08T19:59:00.002-04:00

Matthew is quite the Momma's boy. Anytime he gets knocked down, bumps his arm on the wall or gets hurt in any way, he comes to me and says, "kiss it, kiss it" until I do and it's magically better. Well, what do you think happened when he fell and hurt his butt the other day? Naturally, he asked me to kiss it!

All Grown Up

2008-09-27T08:30:00.002-04:00

Have you ever had a moment where you just feel "grown up"? I mean, I probably should feel grown up, I'll be 27 in about a month and I have a kid in kindergarten and a two year old. I am in every sense an adult. But in the last two weeks I've had a couple things happen that made me really feel it. First of all, I went to a PTA meeting at Nathan's school and somehow came out the vice-president. I'm not quite sure how (or why!) that happened, but I'm excited to be involved. I got to thinking about the parents I remember being super involved in the very same school when I went there almost (GASP!) 20 years ago! I'm the Mrs. Moses or Mrs. Bobalik of my generation, lol! Too strange! Even more strange was yesterday when I had to go to the office at the school to take care of an immunization record issue. It just didn't seem right that I should be in the office at my old school taking care of things for my SON! It seems like just a few years ago I was a student there and it was my mom helping me!

Speaking of the immunization record, I have to share this because I think it's CRAZY! Nathan has had all his shots and is good to go until he's like 11 or 12. Well, I got a paper from the state saying something wasn't right with his DTP/DTap series. As far as I could tell everything was fine and the nurse at his doctor's office agreed and signed off on the paper that it was fine and that he didn't need any shots. I took the paper into the office and the secretary said it was because he had his last shot too soon. He was supposed to get it sometime between his fourth and sixth birthday and he had it TEN days before he turned four!!!!!!! As far as the state was concerned, that last shot didn't count because it was ten stinking days too early! How ridiculous! Anyways, the school itself didn't mind and I had to fill out a waiver stating I was morally against giving him another shot. I guess I'm not against giving him his immunizations, he's had them all, but I AM against giving him another dose that he does not need!!!! With all that you hear about Autism possibly being linked to immunizations, it's definitely not worth the risk to me!

The Latest in Pagel-isms

2008-09-20T08:45:00.002-04:00

We went to the library a few days ago, and as I was pulling into a parking spot Nathan said, "Too bad your not a hillbilly so you could park there." I looked around and realized I was next to a handicapped spot and realized he meant handicapped instead of hillbilly. Ha! So I corrected him and then he asks, "So what's a hillbilly?" Great, just what I want to try to explain to my 5 year old!

Matthew was picking his nose the other day, fortunately something he doesn't do too often, and got a booger stuck on his finger. He looked at it really closely like it was something really cool, then brought it to me saying, "Booga, booga" over and over. Sorry, that one was a little gross to share, but it was cute to hear him say that. Gross, but cute!

School Time

2008-09-02T20:40:00.003-04:00

Today was Nathan's first day of school. He woke up bright and early (actually, he woke up so early it was still dark, about 5:15!) and was ready to go. We got him all dressed and got his backpack ready, I could hardly keep him in the house. Finally we went outside to wait for the bus. We waited. And waited some more. We waited and waited and waited. No bus. Finally after it was about a half an hour past the time the bus was supposed to be here, I saw the bus coming. Well it turned and went the other direction and never even came by our house. It totally forgot him! To say he was devastated would be an understatement! I called the bus garage and left a message on their machine that he'd been forgotten and then drove him into school. He managed to calm himself down before he got there fortunately.

He got out of the van and got in line behind his teacher's sign. I drug Matthew and Gracie out of the van to walk over where the other parents were waiting. We waited and waited some more. Nathan was so confident that he kept yelling to me that I could go home. Finally it was time for them to give us one last wave good-bye. I have to admit I teared up a little watching my "little boy" walk into that "big school".

Fortunately the bus remembered to bring him home. He got home right about the time I was told he would, so I didn't have much extra time to worry. He was the last one to be dropped off and as they pulled up, he had the biggest grin on his face. He thought he was pretty cool because he got to be the bus driver's helper by waking up a few kids who had fallen asleep when it was their turn to get off.

Happy Birthday Nathan!!!

2008-08-26T20:26:00.002-04:00

Today is Nathan's last day as a four year old! Tomorrow he will be five! Where have the years gone? Exactly one week from today he will be starting kindergarten, and while I know he is ready and is going to have a great time, I am a little apprehensive. I've never had my "baby" away from me so often. I know there's nothing to worry about, but still...

Nathan is a very special child. He is a handful, he is very strong-willed. But I foresee great things from him someday. I think he will grow into a wonderful man of God who will stand up for himself and his beliefs. Sure, we'll have struggles along the way, and I'm sure peer pressure will cause him to act in ways he shouldn't as he grows, but who doesn't?

Anyways, I hope my monkey man has a great day. We are going to pick up his friend Cobi and go to the park. It should be fun.

Croc-a-holics!

2008-08-05T10:10:00.005-04:00

I came upon this Newsweek article online today and thought it was hilarious. Though I personally don't own any of the clog style croc because I think they are absolutely hideous (I do own a pair of flip-flops and a pair of suede Mary-Janes which make my feet sound like they're farting when they get even slightly sweaty!) my children own multiple pairs. They love them. I can barely get them to wear anything else. More than once they have been spotted wearing their Crocs to church. I don't like letting them, but it's better than the argument we'd have if I made them wear their dress shoes. I have always thought they'd get stinky, but they haven't, which is nothing short of a miracle for 4 year old boy's shoes! If you want to read the article in it's whole click here. But be forewarned, if you are a Croc-a-holic (like my mother) you may be slightly offended, but you will be amused as well!

I like to play a game with my son, Joseph. We sit on a bench in touristy Old
Town, Alexandria, Va., and we're not allowed to get up until we see a dozen
pairs of Crocs. It usually doesn't take long. But the other day we were stuck at
eight after a few minutes, and I was getting a little concerned. Just then my
boy leaned over and said, "Don't worry, Dad. A family of dorks will come along
any minute." To paraphrase Hank Hill, if he wasn't my son, I would have hugged
him right then, I was so proud.
I know what you're thinking: what kind of
sick father lets his impressionable young son call people dorks because of the
shoes they wear? Well, who else will teach him that wearing sweaty bright purple
clown shoes in public is not OK? He certainly won't learn that lesson at school.
Teachers seem to be some of the biggest abusers of this horrid fad.
I know
what else you're thinking: "I like Crocs … they're so comfortable. I'll tell you
who the dork is … the guy writing this story, that's who! And who died and made
him the fashion authority anyway?"

Waterpark fun!

2008-07-16T16:28:00.006-04:00

We had an adventerous day today. We went to Jellystone Park in Fremont to check out their waterpark, it was awesome! Very affordable and great for young kids. So much had changed since I had last been there, there used to only be one or two water slides and that was it. Now they have a ton of stuff. Matthew was a little tentative about a lot of things, he wasn't too happy when water would squirt him, but he's not a fan of getting wet, so overall he did good. Nathan had a great time, his only complaint is that we weren't there long enough! It was so much fun I think it's going to have to become an annual trip!

Here are some pictures I took, I had a hard time though, because I didn't want the camera to get wet.

The Best Pagel-ism in the History of Pagel-isms!!!!

2008-07-09T20:36:00.003-04:00

Today we were driving to Shipshewana and there was all kinds of road construction. The back windows of the van were cracked and the smell of asphalt was drifting into the car. Nathan asked what smelled. I told him it was the asphalt and explained that the asphalt was the top layer of road, the black stuff. Okay, he didn't question it anymore and seemed to know what I was talking about. A minute or two later we get to another spot that really smelled bad and he says.......wait for it......."I still smell asses!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! He totally didn't mean it that way, but it was hilarious!!!!

On a side note, I ended up locking my keys AND cell phone in the car while we at Shipshewana. The pay-phones wouldn't make a long distance call no matter how much money I put in and Dustin didn't answer his cell phone when I finally bummed a call off the coffee shop. I finally got ahold of him when I called from the bank and he was able to get down there with a spare key. In 10 years of driving, I think that is the first (and hopefully last) time I've done that. I felt so stupid!

Happy Birthday Matty D!!!

2008-07-07T11:48:00.006-04:00

I remember EXACTLY where I was two years ago today! I was lying in a hospital bed awaiting the arrival of Matthew David. About five hours from this time he decided to make his entrance into the world. I remember that for the second time in my life, I fell absolutely, positively crazy in love with a perfect little baby boy. (The first time obviously being with Nathan.) It is hard to imagine how much a mother can love a baby until it is actually born. I mean, sure, I loved him while he was inside of me, just because I knew he was mine-but seeing him, holding him, kissing him-just means the world after nine long months.

Matthew's birth was vastly different than Nathan's, and I remember feeling guilty because I didn't cry when they placed him on my chest as I did the first time around. I was so drugged up and the last several hours had had literally no pain (thank you God and thank you epidural) that it just didn't seem like it could have happened. But there he was! I was elated, and overall it was a great birth experience. As much as I loved him that day, my love has only continued to grow.

Matthew has been a good baby. He likes to test my patience, but he is such a sweetheart. He still loves to cuddle up and my lap and fall asleep in my arms. He's talking quite a bit now and even putting together short sentences. It's quite hard for me to accept that I may never have another one year old of my own in this house again. I don't want to look at him growing up as a negative, because with growing up comes a lot of new, fun things in his life. But I am a little sad at the same time, he's not really a baby anymore!!!

Anyway, we had a little party for him last night, I will post pictures in the next couple of days. He had fun, and loved his "muh-kee" cake. (Translation: MONKEY) Dustin had to work today, and Gracie is here, so we're not doing much, but we may go to the park this evening if it is not storming. Happy birthday little man!!!!

What does the Fourth of July mean?

2008-07-02T19:35:00.008-04:00

The Fourth of July means family and cook-outs. It means fireworks and friends. It means trying to stay up late and singing songs about America. It means warm weather and good food to eat. It means swimming and laughing and relaxing. But it means a lot more. It means freedom. Freedom to do all these things that make summer, this day in particular, fun. It means having the right to spend this day as we choose and not risk persecution for showing our patriotism. It means having the right to say whatever we want and become whoever we dream.

Just as a reminder, to myself as well as others, here's a little bit from a song we all know and love by Lee Greenwood:

I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I'm free. I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me and I proudly stand up next to you and defend her still today. There ain't no doubt I love this land, God bless the U.S.A.!!!!!!

I'm proud to be an American, how about you????

Today, as always, God bless the U.S.A. and God bless you!

T-ball update

2008-07-01T15:25:00.002-04:00

I just wanted to update real quick on the coach situation. I approached him in a non-confrontational way and just asked what would make him say that. He apologized and said he honestly didn't mean anything by it. Nathan had just kind of been picking on everyone that day I guess, not being mean, but just being silly when he said it. It was kind of what I figured, but I felt I really needed to know. And more importantly, he needed to know that I knew so IF something more serious ever gets said, he knows that my son will tell me.

Surprise party

2008-06-21T21:41:00.003-04:00

On a happier note from the post below, Nathan went to his best friend's birthday party at the gymnastics center tonight and had a great time. It was a surprise for Cobi, so all the other kids were there before him. They turned out the lights and when he opened the door they flipped the light on and yelled, "SURPRISE!" It was so cute. The first thing Cobi did was squeal, "Nathan!" and ran and gave him a hug. It is so funny for him to have his first "best friend". They were practically inseparable all through school. Luckily, even if they end up at different schools next year, they'll still get to see each other at church. They are a couple of crazy little monkey boys that can definitely get each other into trouble, but they are fun.

T-ball Drama

2008-06-21T21:38:00.000-04:00

When I came upstairs to write this, I was angry. Or maybe I was sad. I guess I don't know how I was feeling, and I guess I still don't. Let me give you a little background story to explain myself.

Nathan started playing t-ball last week. He's not exactly the most focused kid there is, nor the most athletic. I'm fine with that. I thought it would be fun for him to play and a good way to get some excercise, nothing too serious, you know. Nathan enjoys it, but doesn't pay a lot of attention to what's going on.

Nathan had his second game today, and seemed to have fun and even pay a little better attention than he had been. Overall, he did well. He came home and said he had fun. Good, that was the whole point after all. A couple hours later he said, "You know what Coach called me today?" and I said, "I have no idea, what?" and he answered, "the team irritator". It took a couple minutes for this to sink in, and I didn't want to press Nathan too hard for details and upset him. I don't know what context it was used in or even who exactly it was said to. My kid's a handful, I'll be the first one in line to admit that. I'll even admit he can be irritating and downright annoying at times. I mean, I can say it, but it doesn't give anybody else the right to, especially a grown man in that kind of position. It just doesn't seem right.

I want to point out that Nathan does not seem at all bothered by this, thank goodness. I asked him if it hurt his feelings and he said no. I'm not even sure he knows what it means. All I know is that coach is lucky he didn't hurt my son's feelings or there would be trouble! Like a mama bear and her cub, you hurt him, and your butt is mine!

I am the kind of person who avoids confrontation at all costs. I don't want to say I'm a pushover, but I tend to talk big, but always back down and let other people have their way. So now I'm at a loss for what to do. Do I confront the coach? I don't want to come across as a parent that's always butting in and being a jerk about stuff like that, but my kid's four! I just don't know. I really don't know how the comment was intended, but even so, in my opinion it should not have been made.

So now maybe my reference to being sad and angry makes a little more sense. I think this a situation that I need to pray about to help me figure out the best way to handle it. I don't know how to feel! I've dealt with the "So-and-so said they didn't want to be my friend anymore" but this is new territory to me. Like I said, I know my child isn't the easiest kid to deal with, but he's a kid, and no adult should EVER say something that could hurt his feelings like that!!!!

Memorial Day

2008-05-26T21:07:00.003-04:00

I posted this last year on Memorial Day and thought I'd update it a bit. We weren't able to go to the cemetery this year because we were up north, but I felt the same way. This year Neil is in Iraq, he has been there for several months now. I think of him and pray for him often. I think today many of us feel what we should be feeling all year round: gratitude towards our troops. So make sure, when given the chance, to thank a soldier.

Tomorrow, as we have the past several Memorial Days, we will go to a cemetery in Nottawa. The little old man there will give the same speech as usual. The Centreville high school band will play the same slightly out of tune version of "The Star Spangled Banner". Afterwards, we will all gather at Dustin's grandparent's house and eat the same barbecued chicken, and probably even tell some of the stories we have all shared dozens of times. Though so many things will be the same, there will be one major difference. All those nameless, faceless soldiers we have all prayed for overseas will soon be one of our own. We'll be thinking about how glad we are to spend this time with Neil, and how proud we are of him, because in just a few short weeks he will be sent to Iraq to serve and protect our country. It's easy to forget why we celebrate Memorial Day. But this year, I hope we all remember to thank God and our military (past and present) for the freedom we have to celebrate the day as we wish, I know I will!

Graduation

2008-05-23T07:24:00.003-04:00

We've got ourselves a kindergartner now! Wow! Last night Nathan had his pre-school graduation. It was so cute to see all of the kids singing yet a little sad to think it was one of the last times they'd all be together as a group. They seemed like a great group of kids, I know Nathan really liked them all. I hope to be able to keep in touch with some of the parents and one in particular, though they're little trouble-makers together, I know Nathan will really miss. Fortunately we should be able to see them at church.

It is so hard to believe he's growing up so fast. Last night after he was asleep I laid in his bed with him and just sobbed over how big he's getting. I can remember the day he was born so well (except what I choose to forget because of the agonizing pain :)) and I just can't believe it was almost five years ago. We have a lot of fun stuff ahead with him though. I am very excited to see the boy and man he will someday become. I expect great things out of him someday, though I know it will be a very, very bumpy ride.

Congratulations little big boy, it's been a great year and you've done a great job!

Where does it go???

2008-05-15T16:49:00.003-04:00

Time, that is. It feels like only a month ago that I was preparing to send Nathan to pre-school for the first time, now here it is, one week until the end of the year. Wow. It's been a fun time for him and he has changed so much. I'm so glad I sent him, but also saddened because his pre-school is closing down after this year and now Matthew won't get to attend it in a few years. I struggled with what to do with Nathan and what school to put him in, but after the first day I just knew I'd made the right choice and still feel that way.

Anyways, the next week marks a busy and exciting one for us in regards to Nathan. Tomorrow he has a field trip to the fire station. He's been looking forward to this for awhile now, because like most little boys, he says he wants to be a firefighter when he grows up. Well, one day he does, the next he wants to be a doctor and the day after that a yellow crayon. Who knows?!? This Saturday he will be participating in the Michigan Week Parade by riding on his pre-school's float. (That I helped paint by the way, and it is going to be so adorable!) Then next Tuesday he has his Awana awards night which hopefully will be the first of many. I'm sure it will be because he can't wait until next year when he is a "Spark" not a "Cubby" though he has enjoyed being a Cubby a lot! Then Thursday is his pre-school graduation. I know they've been working on songs to sing and their going to do it in the sanctuary. It will be so cute, and I have a feeling with all his grandparents and great-grandparents that may come he will have quite a cheering section. Oh, then shortly after that, he starts t-ball practice. I am super excited about that, it's going to be hilarious to watch 4 and 5 year olds play t-ball!!!

Then after all that, Dustin has a vacation and we plan to go up north for a few days and possibly down to Indianapolis for a few days. It should be fun, other than the driving part. Driving anywhere with my children for more than an hour or so is enough to make the sanest and most patient person lose their mind, so that should be interesting.

My very random post about balloons

2008-05-05T15:05:00.005-04:00

This morning while I was sitting at a stop light, I watched a car salesman as he was tying balloons onto the cars on his lot. I've noticed that there always seem to balloons on the cars at this dealership and the one across the street from it. Sometimes they're red, white, and blue; sometimes they're black and orange; sometimes they're red and green; sometimes they're just random multi-colors. But probably about 75% of the time or more there are balloons on the cars.

That got me thinking, do balloons on really help sell the cars? I mean, who just drives along thinking, "I really could use a new car, but $16,00 is an awful lot of money to spend. I don't know if I can afford it. Hmmm...maybe next year. Oh, look! There's a giant red balloon on that car over there, I just have to have it now!" I mean really, do the balloons matter? I guess they get you to notice the cars, I obviously pay enough attention to know there's balloons on the cars a lot of the time. But I always look at the cars at dealerships even though I have no intention of buying.

One more thing, do you get to keep them when you buy the car? I don't know, I bet if you ask, they'd let you. If my kids were with me, they would definitely want the balloons. If anyone has any insight or know of any studies that have been done on likelihood of buying/not buying a car with balloons, please let me know.
And that's my deep thought for the day!

Pagel-isms

2008-04-29T18:48:00.002-04:00

This morning, completely out of the blue, Nathan asked, "When are we going to get a new t.v.?" I replied that I didn't know we were planning to get one and he answered back, "But we have to, because in February 2009 our old t.v. will be obsolete unless we get a converter box." Somebody's been watching a little too much t.v., don't you think?

Yesterday on the way home from school I asked Nathan what he wanted for lunch and he said, "Peanut butter sandwiches, I suppose." I told him I wasn't sure if we had any bread then he said, "McDonald's, I suppose." We ended up going to the store to buy bread.

Pagel-isms

2008-04-11T21:15:00.002-04:00

Last weekend Dustin and Nathan were working out in the backyard. I had just gotten out of the shower when Dustin called into the house from his cell phone to tell me something. I was standing by the back door with a yellow, almost flesh-colored towel around me, and I told him to look and I pretended I was mooning him. Then I heard Nathan yell, "Ha, I see Mommy's butt!" Anyways, after I got off the phone with Dustin, Nathan told him, "Mommy's going to go to jail for that." (He thought that because we've been trying to discourage him from stripping all the time by telling him he was going to get arrested, he knows we're joking, but it seems to work!)

Pedaling for Cystic Fibrosis

2008-04-04T13:26:00.003-04:00

Today (despite the date on the picture saying it's 2004!) Nathan’s school held a bike-a-thon with the money they raised going to the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation (CFF). Nathan raised a total of $133, $16 of it being his own money, which for a four year old is quite a bit. I was proud of him for donating so much of his own money. He has three piggy banks, one marked "spend", one marked "save" and one marked "donate". We divvy the money up between the banks when he puts money in, and probably about 1/10th or so goes into the "donate" bank. He decided he not only wanted to donate what was in there, but also what was in his "save" bank, so we did. Thank you to everyone who sponsored him.

Since it was a rainy day they didn’t get to ride outside. And the gym was being set up for a wedding reception tomorrow, so they had to go down the hall, around the foyer, back down the hall, around the toy room and back down the hall. It was so cute seeing thirteen 4 and 5 year old’s riding their bikes. Most of them had non-stop grins on their faces, except for one little girl who looked scared to death. They rode for about half an hour and there were very few crashes, and no injuries! Nathan did run into the wall in the hallway twice though.

If you asked me 6 months ago what Cystic Fibrosis was, I couldn’t have given you an answer, but I’ve started following a blog about a lady about my age that has it. It is an amazing story and definitely worth checking out, in fact she just got a lung transplant yesterday!

10 magical years

2008-03-13T21:30:00.002-04:00

Officially, Dustin and I have been together for 10 years as of today. Crazy huh? I still remember the night well. We'd been out a few times, nothing serious at all, and we'd had fun. One night we'd planned to go to a movie and when he got to my house to pick me up there was a flower with his class ring on it in the passenger seat. We went out to dinner and to the movie and I never really said anything to acknowledge the flower and ring, I didn't really know what I was supposed to say. Finally at the end of the night he was like, "So....." and I still didn't know what to say. Anyway, it's obvious the way things turned out, isn't it?

Seven years ago, we went to Disney World where he asked me to marry him in front of Cinderella's castle. Again, it's pretty obvious how that turned out. He was so annoyed that I didn't cry when he proposed because I cry over everything. It was an exciting day though.

It's been a great 10 years. It doesn't seem possible that it's been that long. We've changed so much in those years and accomplished so much. We've grown so much closer over the years and I know we will continue to do so over the next ten years.

Nathan and the flower

2008-03-13T21:09:00.005-04:00

When I went to pick Nathan up from school yesterday, I got there early enough to watch the kids playing outside. It was pretty warm out, so I cracked my window so I could kind of hear them a little bit. If you know my son, this won't come as a surprise, but I can usually hear Nathan above the 14 other kids in the class. Anyway, it was so cute listening and watching him play with his classmates. It was even cuter still what he did when they were going inside. He was second to last in line, and one teacher pointed out to the other the flower that was growing right outside the door. Nathan asked to see it, so they were showing him, meanwhile holding them up from getting all the other kids ready to go home. Then I heard him ask if he could pick it for his mommy. The teacher told him he ought to just leave it there but he could show me when he left. When I got to the door, he came running out so excited to show me. Just the excitement he had over the first spring flower was so cute to see.

On a side note, Dustin's grandpa is in the hospital. I guess he has pneumonia, but he fell down his stairs a few nights ago, too. He's a really tough old guy though, he's had a lot of health problems but always seems to get through them. Dustin's really worried about him though, he hasn't really said so, but I can tell. They're very close and I think ever since my grandpa died almost a year ago it's really had him thinking about when it's going to happen with his grandparents. Hopefully not for awhile yet, and hopefully when it happens we'll be able to be at peace with it. It's hard, I think about my grandpa nearly every day, but then I just remember that he's watching over my family and it helps. I wish I could have seen him one last time, but I know he knows I loved him even though he wasn't the kind of grandpa I said that to. And I also know he's proud of me and my boys just like Dustin's grandpa is of him.

Mother knows best

2008-02-29T14:30:00.003-05:00

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe Nathan has only been talking about 2 years now. He was a late talker. He said his "first words" pretty much on schedule, you know, the usual "mama, dada, doggie" kind of stuff. But he didn't really start talking-talking until he was about 2 1/2. It worried me, a lot!!! He seemed like a bright child, and had easily reached all the other milestones according to schedule. But the kid would just not talk! I discussed it with his doctor, and had even began to start the process for getting him tested for Autism. He had some other issues as well that made me think this, but in my heart, I just knew he wasn't. I remember staying after playgroup one day and asked the leader about it and as we were discussing it, I just cried! She sent me home with paper-work to fill out so we could schedule a consultation with some specialists. But by the time I could get the stuff filled out and back to playgroup two weeks later, something amazing started happening. Nathan started talking! Not whole sentences or anything, not like most other kids his age were talking, but he was talking, and it was wonderful.

People always told me during that time to just enjoy the quiet while it lasted. Soon enough I'd be praying for him to be quiet for one minute. How true that is! But whenever he's chattering on and on I just remember that time in our lives, and how frightening it was to think that my child might not ever talk much. I'm not saying that his speech is perfect now, he mispronounces words, but most people do understand him. He may have to have speech therapy in school someday, but at this point, I doubt it. He's more than caught up in my opinion. He has an absolutely amazing vocabulary. I can think of several words and phrases he's used in the past week alone that seem like words the average four year old wouldn't say. In fact, I think as far as speaking goes, he uses proper English better than even I do!

I guess my point of all this is to encourage those who think their child might not be developing properly. I mean, you never know, something could be wrong, but faith in God will get you through no matter the situation. Oh, and also we need to relax some, and not compare our children to others. They all advance at different rates, and comparing them can drive you absolutely crazy! So just believe. Believe in your child and believe that you know what's right for your child. In the end, mothers do know best!

A mother's love

2008-02-19T11:11:00.002-05:00

Only your child can stab you in the eye requiring a trip to the ER, an eyepatch and temporary near blindness and you don't hold a grudge, not even a little one, not even for a minute. Not only do you not hold a grudge, but once you can see, you can't help admire how much they've seemed to have grown in the two days that you were unable to see.

Trust me, I speak from experience.

The journey begins...

2008-02-14T21:52:00.009-05:00

Ten years ago tonight a magical journey began, something I never would have dreamed would turn into this life I now know, something at the time I wasn't exactly sure I wanted to happen, something unexplainably wonderful and frightening at the same time:

Dustin Charles Pagels asked me to dance.

This picture is actually from 1999, over a year after that first dance.

It was at a Valentine's dance at the high school. I was 16, he was 17, almost 18. We'd known eachother for a couple years, and I even went on a date with him once about a year and a half before (much to my mother's displeasure, not because of Dustin, just because I wasn't supposed to be dating). But all that time I had my heart set on various other guys. Well, two specifically, but not at once. Hmmm...that's funny to think about now. I used to dream about how I could make Josh mine and bargain with God, "if only he'll say he likes me, I promise to go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life." Well, that never happened. So then I moved on, I'd pray that Mike would notice me and claimed him to be the "love of my life". Obviously nothing became of that. So enter Dustin into the picture. My heart was still with Mike, or so I thought. But slowly Dustin began to win me over. He was just fun to be around, and I actually felt comfortable with him. I didn't feel like I had to be anyone else to get him to like me. He liked me for me. So I decided to give it a chance, in fact it took some convincing on the part of a mutual friend, but now I thank God I did. I still remember the very first song we danced to ten years ago, Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden. But as I write this story, a different song comes to mind. Whenever I hear this particular song it makes me so thankful for what I have, and so glad God didn't grant me my request so many years ago. I felt like I would never love anyone other than the above mentioned boys, you know how teenagers are. But God had something else in store for me, and it has turned out to be absolutely wonderful.
Here are the lyrics by Mr. Garth Brooks:
Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be.
She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend praying that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again.
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talking to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of Gods greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.
She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
In her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doing after all.
And as she walked away I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life.
Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered.
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

Dustin and I didn't officially start dating for another couple weeks, but I'll post more on that as the time comes closer. Until then, make sure you thank God for the gifts in your life, as I'll certainly be doing tonight.

Pagel-isms

2008-02-08T20:21:00.000-05:00

Today Nathan's class took a field trip to the post office. The guy giving the tour was showing them this big sorting bin and one of the kids said, "Wow, that's pretty big". Nathan politely raised his hand and when he was called on he asked, "Do you have any others that are more ginormous than that?" All the parents laughed, and he didn't even realize why, I guess he hears me say that word sometimes, so he didn't even realize how funny he sounded.

Also, yesterday he dumped a bunch of books out of his book box and when I asked him why he did it he told me, "Matthew told me to." Mind you Matthew's vocabulary consists of about 15 words, and he doesn't speak in sentences!

One more picture...

2008-02-03T14:17:00.000-05:00

I thought this one was cute too! Andy's holding her here, and he looked so proud, and he should be, he's got a beautiful daughter and one tough wife!

My beautiful niece, Miss Gracie Kay

2008-02-03T13:24:00.000-05:00

Gracie Kay with her Build-a-Bear from Nathan and Matthew

After many hours of labor, Gracie Kay was finally born via c-section Saturday around noon(ish). I don't know the exact time, heck I can barely remember the exact time of my own children. Anyway, she weighed in at 6 pounds 7 ounces (a lightweight for a Pagels!) and 19 1/4 inches. She is so cute and tiny! I never much cared for babies until I had my own, and still sometimes think some newborns are really ugly, but she is a cutie! And I'm not just saying that because she's my niece! ;) Anyway, Gracie did get an infection and a temperature and has to have an IV in but it sounds like she is doing a lot better now, thank God. Miranda seems to be doing well, too, she is such a trooper and just keeps insisting it wasn't that bad and she's fine. And it was so cute to see Andy as a father. He's always been a great uncle, but it's hard to picture him as a dad, especially to a girl, but I think they'll both be great parents! Congratulations guys, and thanks for making me an aunt, I can't wait to spoil her!

Nathan meeting his new cousin

I'm going to be an aunt very very soon!!!!

2008-01-31T19:51:00.000-05:00

I am so excited!!! Within the next several hours I will have a new little niece! Miranda and Andy were heading to the hospital tonight at 7 to be induced. I pray that everything will go smoothly and the baby will be healthy. I will post some more information after they've had the baby. So please keep them in your prayers tonight, so far everything has went really well for them, but extra prayers can't hurt!!!

Joy in every task

2008-01-25T16:29:00.000-05:00

Being a stay at home mom can be tough. I mean, some days are terrible and it feels like all I do is "chores": I do 7 loads of laundry, cook supper, sweep the floor, clean the kitchen, change diapers. But, isn't that why I stay home? I want to do those things. Sometimes I think I need to change my way of thinking and do them with a more joyful heart, and other times I am more than happy to do them. There are great rewards in every day though, whether it be something as simple as reading a book to Nathan or watching Matthew achieve a new milestone. Even cooking my family's favorite meal. It can get tough when I'm knee-deep in dirty diapers and dirty laundry, but this is what I always dreamed of, honest!
I read that a stay at home mom should make triple digits if they were to get paid for their work, but I'm happy with a hug and a kiss from my boys at the end of the day and an occasional, "the house looks nice today" or "good supper Mommy!"

Thou shalt rejoice before the Lord thy God in all that thou puttest thine hands unto.

Deuteronomy 12:18

There's no mistaking here, Lord-You've made it clear that I'm to be joyful in each and every task. This includes the things I enjoy, like baking cookies for my family, as well as the seemingly endless tasks of washing and folding laundry.
If I look at these chores with a proper attitude, I am reminded that each one truly is a blessing. You've given me my wonderful husband and beautiful children who make all this work necessary. You've also given me the strength and ability to accomplish these tasks. The next time I'm tempted to complain about the mounds of work, remind me to turn the murmuring into praise. I am a blessed woman indeed.
Taken from Prayers & Prmises for Moms

Please read this blog!

2008-01-15T21:44:00.000-05:00

I know not that many people read my blog, but if you are reading this, please go check out this other blog I found. It's a husband who's wife has cystic fibrosis and just delivered a very premature baby! The wife has been unconscious through all of this. It's very heart-wrenching and heart-warming at the same time. It'll make you want to hug your babies and your spouse a little longer tonight! Here's a link: http://www.cfhusband.blogspot.com/. Please, if you don't have time to check out this blog (and of course if you do, too) say a prayer for this family, they need all they can get!

Pagel-isms: Part Deux

2008-01-13T20:16:00.000-05:00

Today I was making Nathan a ham sandwich. I asked him what he wanted on it and he said, "'man'aise, because I'm a man"!

"Pagel-isms"

2008-01-09T22:42:00.004-05:00

Ordinarily, I'd call these Nathan-isms, but now Matty is starting to talk and saying some cute things, too. I'll try to post these weekly, here are today's "pagel-isms"...

The three boys were laying in bed this morning. Nathan loudly said, "thank you". When asked why he said that he replied, "I was just thanking God for giving me such a good little brother!"

This afternoon, Matthew kept pulling paper clips out of Nathan's Awana book and everytime would say, "UH-OH!" and laugh!

My New Year's resolutions

2008-01-09T21:40:00.000-05:00

I've made resolutions in the past. Have I ever kept them? Not really. Well, maybe once or twice. But this year, I'm going to try it again, and the fact that I will have to update and be accountable to someone (even if only 2 people read my blog) I'm hoping will help me to kick it in gear and try a little harder this time. So here, in no particular order of importance, are my 2008 resolutions:

1. Lose weight. This is one I make every year, and I always fail. Usually I end up adding more weight! I'm trying to do it for different reasons this time though. My family has a lot of weight-related health issues that so far I've been fortunate to avoid, but it's only a matter of time. So this year in addition to eating healthier, I'd like to get some more excercise. Usually I set unrealistic goals, like lose 60 pounds in a year. That's definitely do-able, but probably not for me. My goal for this year is 30 pounds. It's not a ton, and I'll still have a lot to go, but it's a good start, and I'll be proud if I can accomplish that, and maybe more!

2. Be a better mother. I absolutely love staying home with my children, but I often find myself turning cartoons on for Nathan to keep him busy instead of getting down and actually playing with him or working on crafts or reading or something healthier for him. I always enjoy it when I do it, but sometimes the work of getting out paint and putting a mat down on the floor and changing his shirt just seems too much. These are the important times in a child's life, and I am the most important teacher. It's time I quit thinking about how I should be doing this for Nathan or that for Matthew, and actually do it!
Also, I need to work on my patience with them. Anyone who has been around Nathan for any length of time knows that he is very strong-willed and very stubborn. I sometimes lose my temper too easily with him and forget that he is only 4. On the other hand, sometimes I let him get away with too much and feel he is becoming spoiled. I need to find a nice balance in between and learn to be patient as I deal with him. Matthew as well, it's frustrating sometimes when he cries and I can't figure out what's wrong, but he's still a baby, and that's what babies do!

3. Be a better wife. I love Dustin with all my heart. He is a wonderful husband and a fantastic dad and he works so hard for us. But the sad thing is, I don't know that he knows I feel that way. I always nit pick at him, just because he doesn't do something the way I would do it, but I appreciate everything he does for us, even if it's not my way. I try to acknowledge that from time to time, but I don't know that he really understands. Sure, we tell each other we love each other every day, but usually it feels like we're just going through the motions. I need to do more to show him how much he means to me.

4. Be a better Christian. I need to live every day like it's Sunday. By that I mean, I need to remember the message I hear at church and apply it to my every day life. It's easy to get caught up in every day life and forget it's God who has given me this wonderful life in the first place. He needs to be the center of my life and be a part of everything I do, but I admit, sometimes that's not easy. I need to work on that.

5. Be a better friend/daughter/sister/etc. There are so many people out there who I love dearly and have lost touch with. There are many people who are very important to me and who have helped make me who I am. I have a hard time telling people how I feel about them, and that I love them and just assume they know, but after losing my grandpa last year, I guess I've learned not to wait until tomorrow to tell them, because tomorrow may never come. So I really need to work on telling people what they mean to me.

I think I can accomplish these goals. Some are certainly easier than others. I've got my mind set to do it this year, so I'm going to work my butt off (literally in some cases) and see what I can achieve. I'm going into this completely optimistic, which if you know me well is rather difficult for me. But I'll do it! Just wait and see!

Our Christmas

2007-12-27T20:16:00.001-05:00

I hope everyone had a great Christmas! Our family certainly did. The boys got a TON of stuff! We had a total of 8 Christmas's between Saturday and Tuesday (Nathan had 9 b/c they had a party at school) and they got gifts at all of the places, a lot of stuff at a few of them. Our floor is covered in new toys. I've been washed load after load of new clothes, the book cupboard is overflowing. It's a mess, but it's a lot of fun, especially for the boys! My mom and dad and Dustin's mom and dad spoil them rotten! They spoil Dustin and I, too!

It was great to spend time with family and friends, we got a chance to see some people we haven't seen for quite awhile, always nice this time of year. We even made it to Ft. Wayne to see my Grampy and to Bluffton to my Grandma's. It was sad to be there without my Grandpa this year, but like Nathan said, he was spending Christmas with Jesus. While we were at Dustin's grandparent's on Sunday morning, his cousin Neil, who is serving in Iraq, called and everyone got a chance to talk to him, that was nice!

I got a great present this year, though it is very odd! I've been using a pair of pliers to turn my shower off and on for at least a year now, probably closer to two years. It's a real pain in the butt! When Dustin asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I told him new shower knobs, and I got them!!! I forgot how nice it is to just turn a knob, and when the water starts to get cold, it's so easy to adjust! Also, he cleaned the shower for me, something I despise doing. We're going to get a detachable shower head soon too, which will be really nice for washing the boys. So, I know it's kind of strange to get excited about something like that, but I am!

Again, I hope you had a very merry Christmas, and have a great New Year's!

The amazing power of God

2007-12-18T22:17:00.000-05:00

As I was driving Nathan to school Monday morning, I got to thinking about the amazing things God can do.

It all started with seeing an airplane take off from the airport. I've never flown commercially, but I have been up twice with my step-grandpa who has a pilot's license. The airport in Sturgis is right by the road I drive down several times a week, but as I was going by yesterday, there was a small plane just taking off. I watched it rise into the air and begin it's journey, and for some reason, I couldn't help but think how awesome it is that God allowed us to create such a complicated machine.

Also, the day before we got a huge snowstorm. I was thinking about that too, and how He controls the weather and can make a gorgeous summer day or a stunning winter snowscape. He creates hurricane force winds and a gentle spring breeze. Only He can do all things.

He allows us to create and build and design things. He creates the weather. He created the world. He created us. He does it all! And to Him, we shall give thanks.

God’s voice is glorious in the thunder.We can’t even imagine the greatness of His power.
Job, 37:5

These are a few of my favorite things...

2007-12-13T21:42:00.000-05:00

I love Christmas! I really love everything about it (except the stress of trying to get to everyone's houses, I enjoy going, it's just hard to squeeze it all in) but here are some of my favorites.

FAVORITE MOVIES:
#1-Rudolph!!!!!!! I LOOOOOOOOVE RUDOLPH!
#2-Frosty
#3-How the Grinch Stole Christmas
I saw a new movie last weekend, well, new to me anyway, and it was pretty cute. It was called Blizzard.

FAVORITE SONGS:
#1-Little Drummer Boy-I know it's kind of a strange one to have as a favorite, but I've always had such a wonderful image in my head of baby Jesus smiling up at the drummer boy.
#2-Silent Night
#3-Sleigh Ride

FAVORITE MOMENTS:
#1-Spending time with my loved ones
#2-Sipping hot cocoa after a long day of shopping in the cold weather
#3-Spending 3 hours wrapping presents, just to see it get torn off presents in 2 minutes flat!

There are many, many reasons to love Christmas. The magic in my children's eyes certainly ranks at the top! Giving and receiving presents is up there as well. And of course, the general kindness of strangers this time of year. People just seem to smile a little more than normal. But the greatest by far, and it often gets overlooked in all the hustle and bustle of the holidays, the true reason for the season, the birth of Jesus Christ. It truly is awesome to ponder on the story of Christmas and all that it means to us. Above all else this year, keep this in your heart.

Two weeks until Christmas!!!!

2007-12-11T20:25:00.000-05:00

I love this time of year! The lights, the music, the snow, the smells, the food, the spirit, everything. Oh, and of course, the presents! I truly love to give presents as much as receive them, I only wish I could afford to give more. I would love to be able to spend $100 each (or more!) on Jana, Andy and Miranda, my parents, Dustin's parents, and all the grandparents. Unfortunately, at this point in my life, I am not able to do that, hopefully when I'm older, maybe I'll win the lottery or something. Right now, the majority of my Christmas fund gets spent on the boys, and I still always want to get them more. I think I'm pretty much done shopping, except a few last minute gifts I'm sure I'll need.

I'm so excited. Our tree has already been up for over 3 weeks! I just can't wait to start preparing for the season once Thanksgiving hits! Nathan has been making so many cute projects at school, my favorites are a gingerbread man with a little sign that says, "Jesus warms my heart", and a picture of the nativity that says "Happy birthday Jesus!" Too cute!!! Especially this time of year, I'm glad he goes to a Christian preschool where they can help reinforce the true meaning of Christmas. Sometime this week, I'm going to take him shopping to buy something to give to Toys for Tots or some food to give to a local food drive. About a year ago, I made him these banks, one for saving, one for spending and one for donating. We divide the money between the banks, and he's saved the donate jar for a long time, and now he's ready to put it towards a cause. I wish there were a soup kitchen or something like that around here where we could donate our time. It's always something I've wanted to do, and I'd love to have my sons do things like this in the future.

Speaking of Nathan, he said something so precious last week. My grandpa died earlier this year and he likes to talk about Grandpa Marvin a lot. Well, he asked me if Grandpa Marvin was going to sing happy birthday to Jesus in heaven. Choking back tears (both at the memory of my grandfather and that my son could say something so meaningful and not even realize it) I told him that he would. Then he told me he thought Grandpa Marvin could help make Jesus a birthday cake. How cute is that??? Speaking of my grandpa, I know this Christmas is going to be very hard on everybody, especially my dad and his brother and sisters. We all miss him very much, but I am just remembering what Nathan said, and he's going to be having a wonderful Christmas up there with the true reason for Christmas, Jesus, our Savior.

I'm sure I'll blog again before Christmas, but until then, enjoy the spirit of the season! And if you have kids and really, even if you don't, keep the magic in your heart!

It's a world of hope, it's a world of FEARS!

2007-11-12T13:29:00.000-05:00

What a scary world it is to raise our children in! I've been hearing so much lately that just scares the heck out of me and makes me want to lock myself and my kids in the house forever.

First off, war. Sure, past generations have had to deal with this, and I'm sure it was equally scary for them. But now the technology these "bad guys" have is far superior to that of the 1950's. The thought of "dirty bombs" is terribly frightening, and though we haven't been hearing as much of it recently, Anthrax.

Second, lead-tainted toys. This is one that really bothers me. We give toys to our kids with the assumption that they are safe. To find out that they are not safe is troubling to say the least. Now I don't even know what I should let my children play with anymore. I would expect it out of cheap toys from a claw machine, or even dollar store toys, but certainly not the Thomas the Train toys which are not cheap. Or the Fisher-Price toys, that surely seems like a well-known brand that we should be able to trust.

Next, we've got all kinds of germs and diseases to worry about. One that I've heard a lot about lately and has me freaked out is MRSA or "the super-bug". Kids fall and cut themselves, that's just a part of life. These cuts can get infected sometimes even if they are properly treated. Now we have to worry about that cut getting infected with something that is resistant to medication and could potentially kill them? Scary! There have been several students in the area that have had this lately, at least two at the school where my mother-in-law works, fortunately to my knowledge all these kids are recovering from it well. Also, there's things like salmonella and e. coli which seems likes it's becoming more and more common. I mean, how do we know anymore if our kids (or ourselves) have your run-of-the-mill stomach flu or when it's something more? Shouldn't we be confident that the food we are eating is not going to make us sick? I've been lucky to have two healthy boys who really haven't ever had much more than the common cold, but there is so much out there to worry about.

Another thing, perhaps the worst of all, are sexual offenders and murderers. Just last week, a young girl was murdered in the nearby town of Constantine. Things like this just don't happen around here. Especially Constantine, a small town of I think around 2,000 people. I have a few friends that live over there and have small children, I would be very frightened if I were them, I am a little nervous, and we're not even in the same town. Along that note, they suspect someone that has been driving around the area soliciting young children at bus-stops, which is absolutely disgusting! Thankfully, my kids are young and are never really out of my sight except for when they are at school (which I trust completely) or with another trusted family member.

There are many, many frightening things out there. I could stay in my house forever, but really, there are frightening things that could happen in here as well, which I think I've said enough already, so I won't get into! Anyway, I think I've made my point. But there are people to thank who try to help keep us safe. First and foremost, God. I believe He is looking after me and my family and will protect us. Also, the brave men and women of the military who protect us and keep us safe, and the police who keep us safe as well. Also, the doctor's who try to keep us healthy and help us fight these terrible diseases. I just pray that there aren't more frightening things in store for this country and this community, but unfortunately, I'm sure there will be. I will just keep my faith that God will protect my family as well as yours! God bless.

P.S. Sorry to sound like such a Debbie-Downer, and possibly get you worried, that was not my intention. There is definately hope in my message, that God watches over us, and that is what I want you to come away with from reading this more than anything.

My birthday, past and present(s)!!!

2007-11-09T12:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday and it got me thinking about birthdays I've had in the past.

This year was nice, my "Grammy" had the boys over to her house so I could spend the day as I pleased, I went shopping. It was great to have the day to myself, that doesn't happen very often. My mom got me a gift card for Fashion Bug, so I got to pick out some clothes, which I really needed. This weekend, Nathan is going to take me out to dinner and to see "Bee Movie" while Dustin stays home with Matthew. This will be fun because Nathan and I don't get much time just the two of us together, this was all Nathan's idea, he claims he's even going to pay!
Two years ago, I think I got my best present ever. The day after my birthday in 2005, I found out I was pregnant with Matthew. (Nathan was a late Christmas present, oddly, I found out I was pregnant with him the day after Christmas in 2002!)
I remember one year, probably my 14th or 15th birthday, when my mom took me and a few friends to the Ft. Wayne mall and we went shopping and ice-skating there. That was fun.
When I turned 8 or 9, I remember Jana got me a New Kids on the Block charm bracelet that I thought was AWESOME! Also, I remember I got a NKOTB sweatshirt that year that I really liked!
I never really had big parties, just a friend or two over to spend the night. Usually it was Chris or Katy. It was always fun though.
Thanks to everyone who's helped make my birthdays over the years great!

Back to normal

2007-10-26T10:06:00.000-04:00

I am finally feeling back to normal this week. I know, I know...when have I ever been "normal"??? It's good to be able to do every day activities that you take for granted such as giving your children baths or carrying them up to bed. For a week or so I was all I could do to get up and down the stairs, Matthew had to crawl up the stairs to bed (with me behind him just in case he fell) instead of being carried. I don't think he really minded though. He loves crawling up the stairs when given the chance. It was nice because Dustin actually got some days off (his first since August) so he was able to help. But when he did have to work, him being gone at nights made it tough getting the boys to bed, but at least I got to have some help getting Nathan off to school in the mornings. I don't wish "walking pneumonia" on anyone. It's no fun at all. I am soooooo glad that my boys didn't catch it though.

I can breathe!!!! Well, kind of!

2007-10-15T20:47:00.001-04:00

Ahhhhh...finally I am feeling somewhat better. After 5 trips to the doctor/hospital in the last 12 days it's about time. I'm not feeling great by any means, but I was actually able to give Matthew a bath tonight!!! That's a big accomplishment for me the past week!

Also, last week, I found out that I am going to be the aunt of a little girl!!!!!!!!!! I am so excited, though I will admit, a little jealous. Boy or girl I would have been jealous, beause I know in my heart that I truely want one more child. Maybe this cute little girl will put a bug in Dustin. MAYBE???? I know, fat chance! Anyway, I am so excited for Andy and Miranda, they will be awesome parents and I can't wait until February!

Last of all, Dustin, if you're reading this...GET BACK TO WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No, really, I mean it, go work!

You know you're a bad parent when...

2007-10-10T18:58:00.000-04:00

...you let your kids eat ice cream and bread for supper. And guess what?!? That's exactly what I did tonight. To make it even worse, I didn't even get off the couch to get the bread for them. Nathan was able to get it down and get himself and Matthew a piece. Well, Nathan had three pieces. I just cannot make myself get up and take care of cleaning the house and making meals. Dustin's been working second shift and it's making the afternoons seem so long and I just don't feel good enough to do the stuff that needs done. I'd at least been feeding my children a somewhat nutritious supper and somewhat picking up the house, but I just decided to let it go tonight. The only reason I am not sleeping right now is because my chest hurts too bad and I can't quit coughing. I guess life will go on and one night of ice cream and bread won't hurt them. I totally understand why people say moms can't afford to get sick. At least last year when I had the whole hospitalization issues Dustin was able to step up and take care of stuff but now he's got to be working because it's not like I have a major illness. So I've just got to carry on and deal with it, but I really feel like the boys are getting the shaft because I've been so short tempered. Here I am whining again, sorry. I promise to try to be more positive next time.

It's COLD!!!

2007-10-10T15:25:00.000-04:00

Well it finally feels like fall, it's about time!!! Two days ago it was 90 degrees, today it's not even 50! I do enjoy the change, though it could have been a little more gradual. Oh well, begger's can't be chooser's. I finally feel like getting out the fall decorations and buying pumpkins. It stinks we have to BUY pumpkins. There is a huge field of them right by our house, I am sure a lot of people just go out and take them, but I guess we're more honest than that. I think the least our neighbors could do is let us go pick a few pumpkins since we've had to put up with them spreading hog crap on the field right behind us! Last year we grew our own, but this year we thought we'd try to grow a giant pumpkin, well, that didn't work out. They died in like July or August.

Anyway, I'm still sick and it's getting really annoying. I'm calling the doctor tomorrow. It's been a week since I've been there and I'm feeling worse if anything. Fortunately the boys still don't have it as bad as I do. Nathan seems to finally be getting over his cough somewhat and Matthew's hasn't turned into much but a runny nose. We can deal with that. I suppose that's enough whining. That really was not my intent when I decided to post. So anyways, to my faithful READER (aka: Chris) goodbye for now!

Halloween ?'s

2007-10-08T20:34:00.000-04:00

Do you love Halloween? Answer a few of these Halloween questions on your blog!

Do you think Halloween costumes for kids and teenagers are too provocative these days? YES!!! I can't believe some of the costumes I've seen the last few years! My mom and dad would have killed me if I'd even THOUGHT of wearing something provocative. It's one thing for people over 18, but for middle school and high school girls it is totally inappropriate! They even have slutty costumes for like 5 year olds. It's just wrong. I am very conservative in my thinking, maybe due to the fact I'm married to an 80 year old in a 27 year old man's body! I haven't always been so old-fashioned, but since having kids, I notice more and more things that are inappropriate!
Do you give out candy on Halloween? Why or why not? Not anymore. I used to love to stay home and pass out candy, especially when we lived in town and got a lot of trick-or-treaters, but now I take my own boys out and it's really fun. We just go to relatives houses though so it's a lot of in and out of the car, that gets kind of old!
What was your favorite costume as a kid? One year I was Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz and that was really cool. I also remember I was a bride one year and I liked that, too. My mom and dad never let me dress up as anything scary like skeletons or ghosts. I plan to do the same thing with my kids. They can dress up as long as it's something nice or funny. We used to dress up at Congress School and parade around the block on Halloween and I remember Stephen Bobolick dressed up like a box of popcorn. I thought it was sooo cool. He even had real popcorn coming out of the box. It's really strange that I can remember that, isn't it??? What was your favorite Halloween candy as a kid? Is it still your favorite? My favorite was probably like Starbursts or Skittles. Now, if it's not chocolate, it's not worth it!!!

I am SICK of being SICK!!!!

2007-10-07T20:46:00.000-04:00

Nathan brought home a cold his second week of school. That was like a month ago. I've been fighting it all this time, and finally decide to call the doctor last Tuesday morning because I couldn't breath and they couldn't get me in until Wednesday. After I got off the phone I realized I had hives all over my body, I'd wondered why I woke up so itchy. I think it was from taking Mucinex. So I decided to go to PromptCare and the doctor there was a rude jerk. All he did was give me a prescription for my rash and didn't even worry about the other issues. Then I took Nathan to the doctor that afternoon (he goes somewhere different than me and they could actually get him in) and his doctor just said it was a cold and he'd be fine, and it was okay for him to go to school. I'd decided to keep my appointment for Wednesday and they told me there that I have a sinus infection and asthmatic bronchitis. So now I'm on three drugs and really not feeling any better. In fact, I feel worse, because I can't take anything to relieve the symptoms temporarily. I'm just on an inhaler and antibiotics and something for the hives which have finally gone away. But my chest is starting to feel better, I can somewhat breathe again, but guess what? Now we've got another round of colds started and my head is REALLY stuffed up again! It is SOOOOO annoying! Matthew has it this time around. Hopefully we all get healthy here before too long, but now with Nathan in school I think we're going to have this problem a lot more often!!!

Okay, so that was long and boring! Anyway, we have done some fun things this week. Saturday we went to my Grandma's house in Bluffton to have a surprise birthday party for my Dad's 50th birthday. He actually was surprised, even Nathan managed to keep the secret. It was fun, all his brothers and sisters were there. It was a little weird having everyone together without my Grandpa being there. Matthew finally got to meet his Great Great Grammy who is 95.

Here's another complaint...what's up with it being 90 stinkin' degrees in October??? This is usually my favorite time of year. I love fall, I love "sweatshirt weather" but it's really hard to get into the autumn spirit when it's this hot!

I think that's it for now. Sorry for all the complaining! I sound so negative!

Here we go again...

2007-10-01T20:49:00.000-04:00

I know I've posted about a kajillion things about the accident that I was in about a month ago, but here's one more. The place where it happened is a stretch of road I have to drive to get just about anywhere. It actually happened a stone's throw from the house I grew up in. It doesn't really bother me when I drive past it, but I just get annoyed and mad at myself every time I go through there. Then about a week ago it dawned on me, it's only about 1/10 of a mile from the house where I saved a little boy's life earlier this year. I don't know if anyone remembers, but there was a little boy of maybe 2 out in the middle of the road one day and I stopped and got him out and waited with him until the police came and figured out what was going on. So I guess since nobody was hurt in the accident I caused, I come out ahead in my opinion. So now when I drive by there, I think of the little boy and I am able to forgive myself for the accident.

Also, someone almost hit ME today. It was totally NOT my fault this time. I had my cruise set at 55 on US12, so I was going the speed limit and a car decides to turn left in front of me. I slammed on the brakes and missed them, but it was a good thing nobody was behind me. I thought I was going to have a heart attack though. They were close enough to me that I could easily see the look of fear on the passengers faces. Oh well, nobody hit me and it wasn't a big deal.

Other than that, there hasn't been much going on around here lately. We're all sick. Not like really sick, just really annoying chest colds that have been hanging around FOREVER!!! Matthew fortunately hasn't gotten it yet, so hopefully he won't. Nathan had to stay home from school today because he was coughing so hard this morning. I hope we all get over it quickly. That's about it I think.

God Provides

2007-09-24T21:51:00.001-04:00

Well, if you read through my previous blogs, you'll remember that we had some pretty major financial issues recently. I realize that it wasn't exactly the end of the world, but it was annoying. I didn't know how we were going to pay for everything. To be honest, I still really don't, some of it's on the credit card, but we'll worry about that later. But my point is, God provides. Okay, so it would have been nice if He would have provided by letting us win 10 million dollars, but in His way, He provided.
The van was just mainly cosmetic, the headlights were all cracked up though, and we were afraid that rain would get in there and cause them to short out or something, so we got new casings for those and Dustin was able to fix that himself. It was close to $300, but we had to do what we had to do and put that on the credit card. Plus, my ticket got put on the credit card, too. So, thank God for plastic, lol!
The truck turned out to be not quite as major as we thought. First we thought it was a big deal, then we thought it wasn't, then we thought it was again. (Follow that??? LOL) Well, it wasn't. It was just a spring in the engine. It cost another $300 or so, but Dustin's wonderful parents lent us the money for that. Thank you guys so much, we appreciate it!!! While we were without the truck my grandparents offered to let us use their vehicle while they were on vacation and also Dustin's grandpa had a Blazer that rarely gets used which we did end up borrowing for a few days. And let's not forget Dustin's friend Gilbert who picked him up for work several different days. Thank you to everybody who helped out there!
Then we got a bill from the tri-township fire department who assisted in the accident. Another $300! We haven't paid that yet, we really don't think it's fair to have to pay them when we already pay taxes to that township! So anyway, we wrote them a letter and we'll see what happens with that. Maybe we'll have to pay it, maybe not. If I could give the whole $300 to the man who stood with Nathan and held his hand and comforted him for a quite awhile, I would. It was very scary for Nathan, and this man really helped, so thank you to him as well.
Plus we still have hospital bills we are paying off from a year ago now. Both Matthew's birth and when the evil surgeons tried to kill me when they took my gallbladder out!!! And Nathan's pre-school tuition, plus daily life. But it is all managing to work itself out.
These bills we have are going to have to be paid back at some point in time. But in the meanwhile, it's great that God has helped (along with countless other people, many who I haven't mentioned here) to somewhat ease that burden. Somehow, we'll get everything figured out and be able to chip away at that debt. Hopefully without me having to return to work, though if that's what it comes down to and I feel like that is where God is leading me, I will do it. But above all, God has provided by keeping me and my family safe. Thank you to those who have been praying for us. And remember in your time of need, God will provide. Maybe not exactly the way you think He should, but He will.

Terrible 4's????

2007-09-22T21:37:00.000-04:00

So everyone's heard of the terrible two's, but what about the terrible four's??? Nathan was absolutely terrible today! We were at my parent's house and my grandma and grandpa were there too. Nathan had been fairly whiney all day, but nothing that we couldn't deal with. We were getting ready to eat and it was about 6:30 and Nathan was being really loud. Not bad loud, just loud! My dad asked him to quiet down a little and he flew off the handle. I'd already warned him one more outburst and we were going home. So I told him to put his shoes on, this made him scream more, so I picked him up and started carrying him out. We got to the van and he decided he could calm down, so I took him back in to tell everyone he was sorry for the way he behaved and then we were going to go. But when we got inside, he went nuts again. So I was carrying him back out and he started kicking me!!! That was my last straw!

Okay, so here's what really gets me. Everyone comes out to the van and starts talking to him and telling him, "Oh, it's okay Nathan" and my mom dishes him up some supper to take home! Also, then he asked about some cookies they had bought for him and my mom sent my dad in the house to get them for him!!! When he's acting like a complete brat he should NOT get cookies!!! Needless to say, he did NOT get to eat the cookies tonight, thought I did let him eat his dinner. Now I know that grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandkids, but what about undermining my authority as a parent??? I was mad at Nathan already, like that helped any??? The good news though, it took Nathan about 2 minutes to cheer up. He saw a hot air balloon and thought it was cool, then he couldn't even remember what he'd been crying about!

Geesh...kids!!!

2007-09-22T21:28:00.000-04:00

Okay, so here are all my blogs from my myspace profile. I often post things on there, but I don't think anybody really goes to myspace to read blogs. So if blogs are what you want, blogs are what you get, here are several months worth, starting with the most recent. Enjoy, or don't, I don't care!

September 11, 2007 - Tuesday
Where were you???
Everyone remembers where they were 6 years ago today when they heard the news. I was at Glen Oaks in Algebra class. I didn't believe it when I overheard people talking about it, but afterwards, when I got in the car and it was on the radio, I knew the carefree world I'd grown up in had forever been changed! I was young at the time, only 19, and I didn't have children to worry about at the time. I've always been a nervous and paranoid person, and I could have let that fear that I had keep me from having children just to keep them from having to grow up in a violent world. While I wish my children didn't have to grow up in a world with constant fear, I had to move on. I can't imagine the people who were directly impacted by the attacks and how hard it must have been (and still is) for them to move on. Dustin and I married exactly 8 months later, and had Nathan almost 2 years later. While I still worry about them and the condition of this world, I am so glad that I didn't let this fear hold me back and keep me from having him. Children are supposed to be innocent, and not have to worry about stuff like this, I wish it could be that way but there are so many evils out there and so much jeolousy of this wonderful nation that we live in that it's hard to keep them that way and nurture that innocence.
This morning as I watched the footage for the 100th+ time it was no less disturbing than it was 6 years ago. I think if we could all band together and show the patriotism, pride and concern for fellow man as we did those first weeks following 9-11, the country would be a better place. And hopefully it would somehow wear off onto the rest of the world.
I would like to take time to thank every single man and woman who puts their life on the line every day to keep me and my family safe. I don't think you guys can possibly hear it enough, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!! And may God bless and protect you all!!!

September 5, 2007 - Wednesday
I did it!!!
The first day of preschool was a success! And by that I mean, neither one of us really cried. Okay, I confess, I teared up a little. Notice my title was "I did it" not "We did it" or "He did it". There was never any doubt that Nathan would be able to handle it, it was me that I was worried about, lol! He seemed to have a great time and didn't have any problem with me leaving. I've always worried since he's spent four years at home with me that he would have a difficult time being away from home and from me, but if anything, I honestly think it helped him be more secure. He did great. I think his favorite part of the day was snack, imagine that, Dustin and I's kid liked snack?!? What a shocker, lol! Anyway, he's already looking forward to going back on Friday.
On a side note, if anyone really cares, the cost of fixing our vehicles and my ticket are going to probably be way less than expected. The ticket is only $96 and two points on my license, but I've never had any before so it's no big deal. Also, Dustin's friend Jeff came over to check out the truck and thinks it's a relatively cheap fix. Way cheaper than the $1000+ we thought we were looking at, like maybe a tenth of that. I sure hope Jeff is right and that'll fix it! So anyway, everything is looking up.

September 4, 2007 - Tuesday
Time for school!!!
My little Natey is starting pre-school tomorrow!!!! I think I'm actually going to handle it okay, but we'll see. I took him to an open house today and all the other kids were sticking close to their parents, but not my little monkey-man! He was outgoing and went off on his own, I think he would have been just fine if I'd have left him there alone today. But tomorrow's the big day when he gets dropped off and I leave. He is so excited. As much as I'd love to keep him home with me FOREVER I know that he is ready and this is the right time. Wish me luck, I'm going to need it more than Nathan!!! I'll post some pictures and let everyone know how it goes tomorrow.

September 2, 2007 - Sunday
When it rains...
For those who didn't read my previous blog, let me start off by telling you I got in an accident Friday afternoon. It was totally my fault, nobody was hurt, and the van really doesn't have too much damage. So now you're pretty much caught up. So anyway, we decided not to turn it in to insurance because, quite frankly, we can't afford to pay the $500 deductible or the increase in rates every month. We can fix it ourselves and have it looking pretty decent for only about $300. (The only damage is cosmetic so it's not a big deal!) I also have a ticket I'm going to have to pay, it should be under $200, probably closer to $100 though. So there's all that money that we don't really have to start with gone.
Today, Dustin's truck died. It's a fairly new truck, a 2002 Ford that he's only had for about 6 or 7 months now. I was driving home from church and it started shaking like crazy, he wasn't with me, just the boys, but he said I was lucky to even make it home. So he took a look at it and figured out it was the catalyticwhatchamahoozie (can you tell I know a lot about cars, lol!) and said it will probably be at least a thousand dollars!
Also, last night he was trying to order the headlights we needed for the van and we realized our credit card expired the day before (August 31) and they never sent us a new one, so I had to call and get that taken care of and it's going to be a week or so until we can get and use our new one. They had to transfer our balance to a new card number in case the old ones got into the wrong hands.
To top it all off, Nathan starts school this week and it's another $75 a month. Which we really thought we were going to be able to handle until the rest of this all happened! So if anybody knows of any good work from home or get rich quick schemes they want to let me know about, I'd appreciate it, lol! Late August through mid September must just be our bad time of year. Last year I spent like a week or so in and out of the hospital this time of year. I'm not writing all this to get others to feel sorry for me, because quite honestly, even with all this "trauma" (or maybe "drama" is more like it) in my life right now, I am very lucky. It really makes you count your blessings in tough times like these, we are all healthy and happy. Stressed, but happy. I am very thankful that nobody got hurt in the accident, and the rest will eventually work itself out! Like the saying goes, "when it rains, it pours." But somewhere through the mess, I can see a ray of sunlight! How cliche is that for ya??? LOL!

August 31, 2007 - Friday
OOPS!!!
Guess what I did this afternoon?!? I crashed my van! First and foremost, let me stress, EVERYONE IS FINE!!!! (Thank You, God!!!!) I was driving to Wal-Mart to get some groceries for our family hog roast this weekend and all the sudden there was a car in front of me going really slow. I saw them, I thought I had plenty of time to stop. I guess I really don't know how it happened. I guess the car was just going a lot slower than I thought. There were like 2 or 3 cars in front of them, and a buggy that was holding things up. The sad thing is, when I was getting the mail I saw this line of traffic go by our house really slow. It was totally, 100% my fault, and I feel so bad. The car I hit didn't have insurance, and so that makes me feel worse, but I guess they were breaking the law by driving without insurance, but I still feel bad!
Like I said, everyone is okay. They had 2 young kids in their car, too! So we were really lucky. I was a bit concerned about Nathan for a few minutes. He was talking really raspy and said his throat hurt. I think he just had the wind knocked out of him. The paramedics checked everyone out and thought we all seemed okay. The volunteer firemen or paramedics (whatever they were) were so nice. The one guy stood and held Nathan's hand the whole time. I'm so worried Nathan will be scared to go in the car now, and it's really bad timing seeing as he starts school in 4 days! It just really sucks, but accidents happen, and praise God it wasn't more serious and nobody was injured!!!
Needless to say, this turned out to be a VERY expensive trip to Wal-Mart!!! Our van is still driveable, we drove it home, but still there's the deductable and all that, not to mention my ticket, but I don't think that will be over $200. But really, this amount of money is nothing compared to what could have been lost!

August 28, 2007 - Tuesday
Natey is 4!!!
"The days are long but the years are short." Wow, isn't that the truth?!? Nathan turned 4 yesterday and I just can't figure out where the time's gone. Stay at home moms will know what I mean when I say I've spent many days counting down until Dustin gets home or bedtime or the weekend instead of enjoying the every day moments with my kids. But as long as some of those days have seemed at the time, it still feels like yesterday when I saw my first-born son for the very first time. He was the most amazing and beautiful thing I'd ever laid my eyes on (and ever will other than his brother and any other siblings to come). He continues to amaze me every day, he has so many great qualities. He is such a funny guy! I totally picture him being the class clown-type. He'll get himself into trouble with his personality, but I also believe those same qualities can really take him places someday. I can't wait to see the boy and man he will become. I have so many hopes and wishes for him, mainly that he is happy, healthy and lives life to the fullest with God guiding his path. Whatever he chooses to do with his life (if you ask him now, he might tell you he'll play for the Colts and the Cubs someday!) I just want him to be happy! I love my little man sooooo much! Happy birthday Nathan!

August 24, 2007 - Friday
Spread the Word
So at church last week the message was quite simple and quite clear to me. Basically, it was this. There are three main things that God tells us that we should do and they are this:
1. Love God. 2. Love others. 3. Pass on the message.
Well, I feel like I am doing 1, but it could use some work. I mean, I love God, truly I do, but not every aspect of my life is fully focused on serving Him. This is something I'm working on. (See 3!)
2 could use some work for sure! Sure, I love my fellow man as much as the next guy, maybe even more than the next guy depending on who he/she is. I love my family, I love my friends, and though I don't really know them, I "love" my neighbors. I don't consider myself rascist by any means. But I admit that I am nowhere near perfect on this one. There are people from high school I still hold grudges against, there are the little old ladies who drive 30 mph in a 55 zone, there are people walking down the sidewalk I sometimes find myself laughing at. Do I dislike them? No, but I certainly don't "LOVE" them. I could stand to be more accepting of others.
3, wow, I am terrible about this one. Many people who read my blogs may be shocked to see how much I write about my faith, because I never talk about it in "real life". I mean, I think they know I'm a Christian, but I've neve really talked about it to them. Sure, I talk about it to my boys and Dustin a lot. We read Nathan's picture bible to him, he knows Jesus is in my heart and we pray every night. We will do the same with Matthew when he's a little older. But is that good enough??? A friend and I were talking about church the other day and she told me she was surprised Dustin went to church with me because she just never pictured him to be that kind of guy. She said she'd never in a million years get her husband to go with her and that he was "a good boy" just not the church-going type. It was the perfect time for me to speak up and tell her it takes more than being "a good boy" to get you into heaven. I guess I assume she knows that, but really, isn't my responsibility as a friend to do everything I can to get her to realize just being good doesn't guarantee you a spot in heaven. Also, just because you go to church doesn't mean you've got a spot saved either. Anyway, I guess my point is, probably all of us Christians could stand to get out there and tell others of Jesus' amazing love and salvation. I know I need to start, because we never know when it will be too late!

August 15, 2007 - Wednesday
There’s no place like home.
We've been trying new churches lately to find one we would enjoy going to as a family and could really see ourselves becoming involved in. This past Sunday we went to the Wesleyan Church in Sturgis. As soon as I walked in, it just felt right to me. This is the church I had grown up in though I haven't really attended in probably 8-10 years!!! The familiar faces were friendly, yet not over-whelming. The songs were AWESOME and VERY moving. The sermon was great, and just what I needed that particular day, it really hit home!!! I loved everything about it, except the fact that my husband wasn't particularly fond of it, he prefers something a bit more traditional. Anyways, hopefully I can get him to change his mind, because truly in this case, there's no place like home!

July 17, 2007 - Tuesday
"The Price of Children" by Jim Davidson
It seems the government recently calculated the cost of raising a child from birth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down. It translates into: $8896.66 a year, $741.08 a month, or $171.38 a week. That's a mere $24.24 a day! Just over a dollar an hour. Still, you might think the best financial advice is to not have children if you want to be 'rich.' Actually, it is just the opposite.
Just consider what you get for your $160,140. You get naming rights, first, middle and last! You get glimpses of God every day and giggles under the covers every night. You get more love than your heart can hold. You get butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs. You also get endless wonder of rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies. You get a warm hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate. You get a partner for blowing bubbles and flying kites and someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss said or how your stocks performed that day.
For $160,140 you never have to grow up. You get to: finger-paint, carve pumpkins, play hide-and-seek, and catch lightning bugs. You have an excuse to: keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh, watching Saturday morning cartoons, going to Disney movies, and wishing on stars. You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigerator magnets and collect spray-painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand prints set in clay for Mother's Day and cards with backwards letters for Father's Day.
For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck. You get to be a hero just for: retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof, taking the training wheels off a bike, removing a splinter, filling a wading pool, coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins, but always gets treated to ice cream regardless. You get a front row seat to history to witness the: first step, first word, first bra, first date and first time behind the wheel.
You get to be immortal. You get another branch added to your family tree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great-grandchildren. You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications and human sexuality no college can match. In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patch a broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits. So, one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost.

Dustin's grandma clipped this out of the paper a couple weeks ago to pass along to me. I thought it was wonderful. Though that figure might kind of scare a few people (Miranda, I'm mainly thinking of you here, or actually, Andy!!!!) children are a great reward, no matter how much they cost!

July 10, 2007 - Tuesday
A reward from God
Children are a heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.-Psalm 127:3
You've given me a lovely reward, dear Father. I know that my children actually belong to You, and I need to treat them in that way. Along with the privilege of being a mother, I've been given the great responsibility of teaching my childen, using the guidelines You've established in Your Word.
Please help me not to squander this great opportunity. I want to please You by taking utmost care of this wonderful reward that You've bestowed on me. I want to nurture these children both physically and spiritually. My desire is that others would realize I truly understand my children came from You and that I've given them back to You. Please continue to bless this family. Thank You, Jesus.

Taken from the book "Prayers & Promises for Moms". I just wanted to share this with all the mothers who read my blog. It really touched me when I read it and I hope that it will touch others as well. Have a blessed day.

July 7, 2007 - Saturday
My BABY is ONE!!!!
Today is Matthew's birthday. We had a party for him this afternoon, I think he had a good time. He hogged down his cake, made a mess, opened presents, you know, the usual.
It's just so hard for me to believe a year has passed since he came into our lives. I remember everything (well, almost) from the day he was born so clearly, like it was a month ago, not a whole year. I guess that's just what mothers do. He is such a good baby though, and I love him so much. I can't imagine not having him in our family, he just seems to fit right in.
It's a very bittersweet day for me. On one hand, I love to see the little boy he is turning into, but on the other hand, I want him to stay a tiny baby who will snuggle in my arms!!! I don't think I had such a rough time with Nathan turning one, because I knew we would have another baby someday. But with Matthew, knowing he will probably be the last baby (though I desperately want another!!!!) makes it difficult. Soon he will be off doing things with Daddy and big brother, and my baby will be gone! But I really am anxious to see his personality grow and develop and become a young man. So for now, I am just going to enjoy those precious moments between babyhood and childhood and thank God for my blessings. Happy birthday Matthew, Mommy loves you more than you could ever know!

P.S. Check out Matthew's birthday pictures! He's a cutie!

July 1, 2007 - Sunday
How did my 3 year old get a busier social life than me?!?
I was just looking on the calender to see what we had scheduled for the next couple weeks and it dawned on me that almost everything we've done this summer is for the boys, mainly Nathan. It seems like we have been busy almost every day so far this summer, and it's only getting busier. This week is actually kind of slow, but he had a "date" with Grandma to see a movie today, tomorrow he has playgroup at the park and possibly a playdate Thursday, plus a 4th of July party Wednesday and Matthew's birthday party Saturday! One week this summer he has something scheduled every day except one!!! Now, I am the parent, and I do the scheduling, but at not even four years old, this seems a bit ridiculous. I can't imagine what it will be like when one boy is in t-ball, the other in Rocket Football, or whatever it is they do when they are a little older! It's fun staying busy and it gives me a chance to socialize too, and really, that's why he's signed up for so much, for my benefit as well, but I never thought I'd be the kind of mom who is running a toddler all over town. It's just sad when I think back 6 or 7 summers ago when I would be on the go doing all kinds of things with MY friends all day (and sometimes, night) and now my little boy is the one with the social life. I guess I'm officially old!!!

June 30, 2007 - Saturday
The guilt stops...HERE! Current mood: energetic
Stay-at-home moms of the world unite!!! I'm tired of feeling guilty for buying "expensive" shampoo and conditioner. By expensive, I mean the kind that costs like $3-4 a bottle instead of the $1 a bottle kind! I'm tired of feeling guilty when I buy a bottle of Cover Girl foundation that costs like $5 and lasts me a couple months. You know, working women easily would drop $30 on eyeshadow and not feel guilty, so why do I feel guilty about $5?!? I'm tired of feeling guilty when I give in and buy a bottle of Diet Pepsi while standing in the check-out line at Wal-Mart! I could be buying Starbuck's twice a day at $3 or more a piece. So why, WHY do I feel guilty?!?!?!?!?!
I know the rest of you ladies struggle with the same thoughts. Maybe not over the exact same items, but there are things we all buy, and okay, maybe they are not absolutely required to survive, but we really do NEED them. They are nice to have, they make us happy, and quite frankly, we DESERVE them!!! Just the other day I bought some new deoderant and it smelled awesome (Secret's Vanilla Chai) and I knew they had a body spray that went along with it. So the next time I was at the store, I bought a bottle. I kind of hid it away hoping Dustin wouldn't notice, but why??? He never makes me feel guilty about it, and after all, why should he care? He buys himself new fishing stuff every season, why shouldn't I get to have a little bottle of body spray???
So I say it's time we stop feeling guilty for the little things we buy here and there. In the end they don't add up to much, and isn't our happiness worth $5??? Come on ladies, next time you're at the store, pick up a bottle of pop (or a pack of gum, or new nail polish, or whatever it is you like), put it on the counter with pride, and think to yourself, "I'M WORTH IT!!!" The guilt stops NOW!!!

June 27, 2007 - Wednesday
Somewhere over the rainbow
Tonight, I saw the most beautiful rainbow I've ever seen. It was big and bright and full. I called Nathan downstairs out of bed to come look at it and Dustin told him that rainbows are a sign that God loves us and is watching over us. Then he looked up in the sky and yelled, "I love you, too, God!" It was so sweet. Before having children, I would have looked at a rainbow for a minute and gone back to what I was doing, but seeing Nathan look at the rainbow and admire it made me think how wonderful it is that kids see beyond the outside and look deeper into things. I often neglect to realize all the beautiful things God has put on this earth, but to Nathan, it really was a sign from God, not just something pretty to look at. I hope he always sees things with those kind of eyes.

June 13, 2007 - Wednesday
Zippity-doo-dah! Current mood: content
Today was an ordinary day around our house. We went grocery shopping this morning, ate lunch, and went outside to play. I don't know what came over me as I was watching the boys play in the sprinkler and singing zippity-doo-dah with Nathan, but I felt like the luckiest person alive! I often take for granted the fact that I am able to stay at home with my boys. But as I sat there thinking they could be doing the exact same thing at a babysitter or daycare and still have fun, I was there to watch it and be a part of it, and there is nothing better in the world.
I know some parents would love to be able to stay home with their kids and just can't do it, I know others want to work, but I was reminded today how thankful I am to be able to do what is right for me and my family. An extra income would be great and it would be nice to worry less about being able to pay bills, but I can't imagine worrying about the care my kids receive.
There really are a lot of people to thank for blessing me with this gift of being home with my children. First of all, God! I mean, without Him, these precious children wouldn't even be here! Second, Dustin. He works so hard and bears the burden of worrying whether he is doing enough and making enough money to support his family. Oh, my boys wouldn't be here without him, either, LOL! Also, my parents, Dustin's parents, and all our grandparents who help us in so many ways. Thanks to everyone.
Zippity-doo-dah, zippity-ay, wonderful feeling, wonderful day!!!

June 11, 2007 - Monday
First born survey Current mood: nostalgic
Here you go mommies - a different kind of survey for a change - it's all about your first born!1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED? Kind of 2. WERE YOU MARRIED AT THE TIME? Yes 3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS? Soooo excited, a little surprised! 4. WAS ABORTION AN OPTION FOR YOU? Absolutely never!!! 5. HOW OLD WERE YOU? 21 6. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT? Super tired and just had "a feeling". 7. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST? Dustin, then my mom and dad. It was kind of a late Christmas present, we found out December 26th. 8. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX? Yes and no. I kind of wanted a surprise, but we ended up and found out! 9. DUE DATE? I think originally August 31, I had him August 27th, pretty close to the due date. 10. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS? Yeah, you could say that. I was hospitilized 3 times for dehydration and ended up losing over 20 pounds the first 4 months or so. 11. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE? Watermelon 12. WHO IRRITATED YOU THE MOST? Tough call! I was so grumpy, everyone drove me nuts! Probably Dustin the most though just because he was around the most! 13. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILDS SEX? Male 14. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX OF WHAT YOU WERE GETTING? Nope 15. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY? I think about 45 pounds, but I'd lost a lot at first with being sick, so it was really more like 25 pounds more than where I started. 16. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER? Yes 17. WAS IT A SURPRISE OR DID YOU KNOW? I knew 18. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY? Yes, the dehydration in the beginning and some other minor stuff in the end that made them decide to induce labor. 19. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH? Sturgis Hospital 20. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR? 36 hours 21. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL? Dustin 22. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH? Dustin and my mom 23. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION? Natural 24. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN? Oh yeah, but the epidural didn't work!!! :( 27. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?? 9 lbs. 5 oz. 28. DID YOUR CHILD HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS?? Thank God, no! 29. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER? Nathan Scott 30. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY? Almost 4!

June 4, 2007 - Monday
Five things I learned last week
Things I learned while building a wooden swingset:
1. If the instructions say it will take 8-12 hours, double that!!!
2. Send the children to a babysitter unless you want to hear them ask, "when can I play on it?" 846 times!!!
3. Send the children to a babysitter unless you want them to hear their father yell four-letter words when he smashes his finger with a hammer, twice!!!
4. Enlist help of brother-in-law, father-in-law and father so you don't ruin a perfectly good marriage.
5. The money and time spent working on it are well worth it when you see the look on a 3 1/2 year old's face flying down the slide for the first time!

May 27, 2007 - Sunday
Freedom
Tomorrow, as we have the past several Memorial Days, we will go to a cemetery in Nottawa. The little old man there will give the same speech as usual. The Centreville high school band will play the same slightly out of tune version of "The Star Spangled Banner". Afterwards, we will all gather at Dustin's grandparent's house and eat the same barbecued chicken, and probably even tell some of the stories we have all shared dozens of times. Though so many things will be the same, there will be one major difference. All those nameless, faceless soldiers we have all prayed for overseas will soon be one of our own. We'll be thinking about how glad we are to spend this time with Neil, and how proud we are of him, because in just a few short weeks he will be sent to Iraq to serve and protect our country. It's easy to forget why we celebrate Memorial Day. But this year, I hope we all remember to thank God and our military (past and present) for the freedom we have to celebrate the day as we wish, I know I will!

May 11, 2007 - Friday
Five years
Five years ago today, I married my best friend. I know lots of people say that, but it's true. Dustin understands me like nobody else. He knows all the little embarassing things I've done, knows how crazy I can be, how strange (in a good way, most of the time) my family is, what a hypochondriac paranoid freak I can be, and yet he still loves me!!! He is the father of my two perfect children. Sure, we argue occasionally, but for being married five years, we really still get along great. I'm proud of our relationship. I feel we did things the way God means for them to be done. We moved in together AFTER we were married, we had children AFTER we were married, these days, that is a rarity. To each his or her own I guess, but for us, that was the right decision. It's hard to believe, but many people our ages have already been married once and divorced and married again. I think people take marriage too lightly, like buying a new car or something. Like if they get tired of it, they can just get rid of it or trade it in. Well, not us. I guess our attitude about marriage is as strong as it is because we both have parents who are still married to eachother (another rarity) and have shown us what a marriage is supposed to be. My mom and dad just celebrated 29 years together last weekend, and Dustin's parents will also celebrate 29 years together later this summer. I know not everything has been perfect in their marriages, as it won't be in ours either, but we are not going to give up.